You got a problem with me calling my mom Mother? Well kiss my ass. If you’ve got a problem with it, maybe we should step outside. Although I warn you, you do NOT want to bang heads with me.

You cannot have Mussina in the HOF.

here come the poor despondent yankee fans :( can’t anything ever go their way

Billy Haisley of Deadspin was quoted as saying something along the lines of “Trump showed them that the social, cultural, and political gatekeepers don’t matter as such anymore, so his supporters will forgive almost anything because of that.”

It happens in a lot of families. Happened to me actually. You achieve some measure of success and the rest of your lazy, stupid, embittered family hates you for it.

I assume the back surgery is an exploratory procedure in which they’ll be looking for something resembling a spine.  

49ers remind me of the Knicks so much it’s scary. Both are run by legacy sons born on third base who think they’ve hit a triple. Baalke=Isiah Thomas. Both are insecure arrogant assholes whose one skill was kissing junior’s ass. Both had to leave before the populace arrived with pitchforks.

Reading the fan code of conduct, I think this section, 12.1a applies:

+1 person taking this great joke seriously and being mad online.

I assume Theismann was just in a rush to publish a tweet comparing their respective fates, but I don’t want to make any snap judgments.

Hey, I know people keep calling this guy Elite, but he gets into all sorts of trouble when he gets out of the pocket.

Jabba will be covered in the “wretched hives of scum and villainy” segment of episode 16.

But.... NEWTONS ARE FRUIT AND CAKE

Nope, I’m lost here.

I don’t understand this comment.

the attacker is not believed to have specifically targeted the tennis player personally, and instead had picked a house to rob at random

“moderators”

Star Wars.

Damn I’ve been thinking about this for like 15 minutes and it’s a lot harder than I thought it was going to be. I’m going to go with Die Hard on the basis of the good ones doing enough to make up for the duds.