Kewan Platt is living up to his nickname of “The Spanish Archer.”

Keep the Booze.

in the arms of a grubby, carnival-loving child

Nowhere near enough. 

He’s the guy from Mindhunter. That’s the easier way to remember him.

We are all Generation Inertia.

This week on Emergency Football Show Weekly, Dom Cosentino and I discuss the wreckage of the Cowboys

I call bullshit. Newark is the absolute asshole of all airports. It belongs in absolute last place. 

Ben is a Deadpin reader who likes chess.

Is there anyone in the world who actually gives a shit about this moron and his three soon-to-need-years-of-therapy kids?

You are correct except for the Knicks on this list. They are young and exciting and not butt. Thank you, Albert.

and return to their hotel motel after the second one.

If you look closely, you can see Sam Bradford driving down I-90 towards Buffalo to save the day.

I will murder you until you are dead. 

Favorite band? Duran Duran

I thought Deadspin covered this already

At a cost of $15 million per episode, I’m hoping each episode is at least an hour long. Otherwise it’s kind of a waste of money.