RIP in peace

You'd have thought Tony could have taken a lesson from his numbers and never dipped.

For years, scientists struggled to really prove, mathematically, why dividing something by 0 would make it undefined. Thank you Emory, you have done what was previously thought to be undoable.

Hey Freeman, just give them a list of the movies you've done. It'll save time.

This is a pretty normal part of the process, actually, When you've been with someone for 10 years, and it's true love, and then it all falls apart, you're gonna go out and shove your fist in some nameless newer models. It's just human nature.

It's like my old college roommate used to say, "If there's a tarp on the field, that's a tortured metaphor for prophylactics."

This summer on HBO:

HBO: "We think it would be great for your football team and your city. I think NFL fans would love to watch the maturation of Manziel in real time."
Browns: "Yeah uh, we both know that's not going to happen..."
HBO: "So we can't film Hard Knocks?"
Browns: "Huh? Oh no, that's not going to happen either."

"As Annie Leibovitz once famously said, 'no hard knock life for us, thank you.'"

Sterling is like 80 years old. I like the idea, but it's still way too late to be considering Plan B.

I guess that makes this the first case where Windows would actually help a computer run better.

Much better tackler than his cousin, Lito.

Remember that it's just "Krewski" with a "zyz."

I bet you Jeter's kids will give him a "World's Greatest Dad" mug every year, despite the overwhelming evidence that he's not even in the top 10 greatest dads.

Classic rookie mistake by McIlroy. He should've broke up with her over voicemail, given how unlikely it'd be for Wozniacki to manage to return his call.

When did you get permission to use Tracey Gold's autobiography title?

Factoid for you court observers out there: the reason the death penalty was off the table is that Massachusetts' law is partially based on scripture. There are clear-cut guidelines relating to "eye for an eye" and related punishments, but the state penal code is silent on "eye for a worthless, disgusting douchebag…

1. Sly, 2. Yes, 3. Depends. Thanks.

I don't care for this review. No sir, I don't like it

My dog Hrbark will love it. The guy really knows how to lift a leg.