Excellent piece Barry. Although, I'd like to offer my thoughts on a particular line: Coming out is now a stage-managed media event, scripted and choreographed in a way that ensures America receives only the most telegenic version of what at bottom is still a deeply personal act.

You son of a bitch.

Ok ok ok, so: imagine for a second the guy in the suit is Rick Moranis. I know, strange request, but just do it. Got it? Great. Awesome. Hold that thought.

Ugh, you earned it. +1

/removes sunglasses

ugh. +1

So dumb. How do I like twice?

"Here's your problem. See this support column? Looks like it was designed by a guy who learned calculus at a school which spent its money on a football stadium instead of a decent teacher."

I lol'd in my office at this. Well done.

YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Weiner: [sees shirt]

The last time they tried to get the fabric from 165 jerseys onto one poster, Oliver Miller still couldn't fit into it.

This is a really great recipe, Albert, but I make a few changes when I make it. First, I use avocados instead of chickpeas, and then I also make guacamole instead of hummus.

Mitch Williams is trying to get into the heads of ten-year-olds.

"Wrong kid." - Donald Sterling

"Hi, yes, my name is Darren Rovell, and I'm concerned that one of your writers, a Mr. J Swift, implores me to eat newborn infants. This is quite troubling, and I advise disciplinary measures posthaste."

If only he'd killed one more person, then the city of Boston could have really used him as a rallying point.

Tim Marchman: Donald Sterling using the n-word.
Tommy Craggs: Pass.
Tim: Donald Sterling talking about paying for sex.
Craggs: Pass.
Tim: Donald Sterling calling Magic Johnson an Uncle Tom.
Craggs: Pass.
Tim: Donald Sterling threatening to murder Adam Silver.
Craggs: Pass.
Tim: Donald Sterling talking about that one time he…

I am devastated - devastated! - that Floyd Mayweather's Philthy Rich Records didn't make the cut.

But what does he think about Flight 370?