IN JOHN OLERUD’S HELMET!!!

This guy can help.

*Richie Incognito throws his father’s arms up in disgust*

Ban golf.

You’d think that, but I actually didn’t notice till three days later, and only because some guy on the bus pointed it out.

Damn Canadians and their evil moose sidekicks.

Call a white dude a racist when they’ve made outright, inescapably clearly racist remarks and watch their heads explode.

Yep, we applied in March or April since we had two international trips coming up late June and early july. The background check part was super fast, but they couldn’t get us in for an interview until late July.

To be fair, cycling in a crosswind is more of an Aert than a Science. 

His first step isn’t fast enough. I could beat him.

“I kept my underwear on during the massage. I don’t like massages particularly.”

It’s so crazy how, for centuries, cops were honest and upstanding enforcers of the law, there only to protect and serve, but they they started to do shit like this just as video cameras were becoming ubiquitous. Weird...

Hey USWNT ... see what you’re missing?!

We have definitively determined that there WON’T BE a “long in the future,” SO JOKE’S ON YOU!!!!!

Math is hard! Let's go snort Adderall and ignore the Supreme Court!

Assuming they ever worked out that thing where Trump wasn’t having his tweets archived as required by the Presidential Records Act (and who knows, because WTF would the consequences even be if he didn’t?), then some day, long in the future, some historian or political scientist is going to be reading these tweets as…

No dementia.  You’re demented!

They have lost tremendous credibility since that day in November, 2016, that I came down the escalator

The big fries get soggy, if you save them for last. The smaller, ever-so-slightly overcooked fries are the ones worth saving.