[Psst, I think it was a clock-management gag. If you’re quick you can still edit your response before someone posts one of those nasty “you, the joke” memes. You’re welcome].

Terry D’Mesticabuser at RB?

More specifically he creates an artificial crisis that makes the markets fall, then announces a “solution” that brings them back up again. It’d be really interesting to see what the investment dealings of him / his family / his suck-ups looked like around the time of these announcements.  Go short... aaannnd then go…

Siakam is gonna want to wear a cup for game 2.

+1 patriotic doodie

+1 invasion of Poland

Guys, I've found the pigeon.

Surely all sports organisations should have a decision making flowchart that says “does this decision make the NFL look progressive by comparison” with a yes arrow that goes right back to the “start the fuck again”.

Not all of us Everton fans are bad people and we certainly don’t necessarily condone people laughing at this.

Trubisky (medial ligament ouchie) is listed as questionable, while Smith is expected to return despite leaving the game with a rotator cuff boo-boo last week.

When did everything become a “contusion”? If it’s not broken or ruptured then teams should be forced to call it a bruise. Or an ouchie.

I mean, I’m guessing the LAPD has more than 1,000 good guys with guns. :)

Oh come on! “The Avalanche Were Buried By a...” was right there.

Great, so how the feck is Holmby Hills planning to stop a bad guy with 1000 guns now?

Nah, what you’ve got there is the new Nikola Jokic inflatable sex doll.

“Barcelona police assault dozens of Liverpool supporters”

If I had a dick and had dared myself to touch any part of Trump (clothed or not) with it, I think I would have to apologize to said dick on the regular.

Jimmy Valet

You’re too kind! If I had some poop right now I’d hand it straight over for your flinging pleasure.