Dylan, 26, the accountant from Boston, MA is really this guy from über-90s Saturday morning live action show California Dreams.

Did Dylan, 26, accountant from Boston, MA's hair step directly off the set of über-90s live action morning show California Dreams or is that just me?

"British human rights activist, defender of Julian Assange, and all around kick-ass lady celebrated her engagement at a restaurant yesterday to a 53 year old American actor. His name currently escapes us."

What? You mean I can't cut my steak with a tampon? What is this sorcery?! And why is my dainty 2 ounce sirloin comprised of the rarest Sri Lankan emu meat NOT pink inside? Can't you see that I'm a WOMAN?! I physically am not permitted to consume anything that isn't a lurid shade of pink!

What the hell makes something "artisan"? Pretty packaging and twice the amount of it's non-artisanal counterparts? Does not compute.

Right? I was worried US had photoshopped a bikini on him or something. "Prince George Goes Wild in Oz!"

Cannot decide which is worse—the crazy anti-vax shit or the excessive use of the word "yummy". Gawddamnit, I hate that word. It should be eliminated from the dictionary for anyone over the age of seven. It makes any adult who says it sound like a child. Go on. Say it. And try not to sound like a toddler.

Yes. That scene is gross. 80s movies were rather high in casual misogyny and homosexual jokes. "You didn't fuck that girl? You're a fag!", etc.

I'll give that bitch a semicolon; bitches love semicolons.

Even if they weren't rapey sackrat asshole dumbfucks, their blatant lack of correct grammar and spelling would be enough to keep this "bitch" away from their parties.

Who the hell speaks like this? They sound like stereotypical jockstrap frat boys from 80s movies. You know, the frosted douchebags who wear Ray-Bans and Lacoste polos with the collars popped. They're like the Alpha Betas from "Revenge of the Nerds". But even Stan Gable wasn't this much of an asshat.

Excellent point.

This all happened very recently. At least the final (I hope!) end. It was just a few weeks ago my aunt kicked him out for good (?) We would take turns going over to her house to make sure he actually indeed left. I saw her a few days ago for Passover, and she was very pale and wan, and spent the whole of the evening…

My aunt used Ashley Madison to cheat on my uncle. She met a guy on there, divorced my uncle, and after five years of secretly dating (at least two of them whilst still married to my uncle), he moved in (after my cousin, her oldest daughter, found an illicit sext from him to her mother; that was how she discovered the…

Very true. But at least the Academy Awards has some misplaced prestige . The MTV Movie Awards, on the other hand...well, I'm sure they are held in high regard in the high school cafeteria.

Really, Mr. Cube? Poor taste. Very poor taste.

".....in the old days you'd have to travel to India or China for inspiration, and these days you've just got Pinterest boards and you can create looks from home".

Lola, my bichon frise, would do that LOL. Dixie, the retriever, would scamper away barking "WHAT IS THIS SORCERY?!" and hide until I shut it off.

I didn't even think about how my dogs would react to this. I have a little bichon fries and a big black retriever. The bichon will probably just sniff it in confusion, but the retriever, who is legit terrified of my cell phone, will likely run and hide in the closet whenever it's on.

That video is my favorite thing on the Internet.