Is Kate Gosselin still relevant? Do people still give half a shit about what she's up to and I missed it?

I had to sleep in the same room with my dad. Not pleasant, but I'd do it again if I get to go to frigging Italy!

I just had a friend who had vacationed in Venice that the hotel kind of sucked because she and her mother had to share a bed. I'd sleep in one of their canals if it meant I could go to Venice.

Titanic was my first sex scene. I was sitting between my mom and grandma. You can imagine how awkward that was.

Clarification: I FEEL old, since that movie came out 16 years ago.

I had that same poster! I may still have it. Possibly on my wall right now.

Just move it to the side to make way for my iron lung. That's right. I've been around since before the Polio vaccine.

That's true, I thought she was older than 18 when she filmed it. If she was born in '86, and the movie came out in '06, she should've at least been 19, right?

I thought, by the title of this article, that Chris Pine was going to lay the word-smackdown on Lindsay. Now, my inner schadenfreudian bitch is unsatisfied. You don't want to make Miss Schadenfreude angry. You wouldn't like Miss Schadenfreude when she's angry.

I'm YOLO-shaming you.

This article is perfect. Sums up my thoughts on the matter flawlessly. However, you forgot "twerk-shaming". Cosmo coined that "term" after they received complaints over their near-constant Miley Cyrus reporting. "People shame me for dancing in a vaguely sexually suggestive manner! Not many, but some! Like two or three…

Exactly. I want to clarify my earlier sentiment. People who post pictures of their kids are not annoying by default. Most of my friends have kids, and they are awesome. Some have even learned to sign to better communicate with me (Deafie represent). Kids are great, and there's nothing wrong with being proud of your…

I don't think those people are ancient, just incredibly annoying.

Because when you're a teenager, anyone above 25 is ancient.

It's "The Selection" by Kiera Cass, only with less backstabbing and bloodshed (I assume).

Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you President Lohan Prosper McGee and his V.P. Pepsi Nirvana Milligan. Long may they serve.

What? What? That's blasphemy in and of itself. That's like changing the lyrics of "Dreidel, Dreidel, Dreidel" to "Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, you were born on this day. Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, it is to you I pray" because they don't like the connotations that a dreidel (or in this case, the "fates") is not Messiah-y enough.

I thought it was two months. 11 days is abhorrent.

I read it. Poor guy couldn't even get past the introduction. I like how she instantly went out and bought a gun for her husband as an act of "civil disobedience"—civil disobedience basically means literally breaking the law, which she did not do—two months after the Newtown massacre.

Thank you for your sacrifice. And this Christmas, remember its true meaning—that Obama wants to take away all your guns and shoot Baby Jesus with them.