Hopefully he gets a basketball rematch with Prince.

Charlie Murphy walks up to the Pearly Gates and as he enters, feels a tap on his shoulder. He turns around and take a blow to the forehead.

This post needs more “Kneehigh Park” and “Player Haters Ball”

Godammn didn’t even know he was sick. God bless his family

I make it a point to always post the white santa pic on articles about Megyn Kelly. I’m glad at least one jez writer has the wherewithal to do a Megyn Kelly post without treating her with kid gloves while acknowledging she’s a massive bigot.

WWE storyline? Looks like Gronk is making a run for the White House in 2069.

Hydration is a number one priority.

Red should be immediately relabeled “Urine big trouble mister”. They pissed that opportunity away.

Wow. It would be so much easier just to admit you’re gay, suck a cock, get over yourself and finally enjoy life.

Real Talk: how are we all going to die?

Ya prolly should keep an eye on that drink, Hef.

this is grace, she lives in a constant cycle of needing reassurance that she is a good doggo

My dog Hank is a very good dog. Yes he is!!!

This year’s Easter Bunny be like..........................................^

Okay, that does it. We are officially living in the Onionest Timeline.

I don’t even speak to my republican coworkers after one fucker told me “I guess you’ll be moving back to somalia now” on November 9th. I work at a nonprofit in Silicon Valley and have never lived in HOA.

I have to say, Trump is making my arguments with my Republican co-workers so fucking easy these days. They can’t respond to half the stuff I point out.

This makes United seem almost unbelievably incompetent. Why were people allowed to board if they knew not all of them were going to be on the plane? Denying someone boarding is way easier than asking someone who’s sitting down to get off.

In what universe is this not just a done-deal massive cash settlement for the poor sap they just dragged off the flight? Even if united had contractual authority to remove passengers for this reason, doing so BY FORCE seems like it’s just making someone a millionaire overnight...

United should have just gotten a rental car for their employees that needed to get to Louisville for the next day. It’s a 4.5-5.5 hour drive according to Google maps.