This is the only Russian ship that really needs modernization

Yes, you’re right. It definitely is not a sports entertainment promotion featuring musclebound men wearing sparkly spandex costumes slamming each other around for spectacle. It’s some whole other, more serious thing.

Unironically shake hands! Enjoy the latest record from The Four Freshmen while drinking some Delaware Punch! Compliment your quarterback by saying that his pass was “swell”! But no new lascivious, suggestive dances like The Lindy Hop or The Charleston!

Don’t forget about the car manufacturers...might be handy, especially in a country with only 8 states.

With Michigan, you get Motown, Stroh’s, the best architecture outside of Chicago AND a depressingly affordable cost of living.

Cherries and urban blight mostly.

I think you drop Michigan and take maybe Vermont, if only for the maple syrup and Ben and Jerry’s. Or maybe Maine for the lobster. Way better than whatever Michigan brings to the table.

YES.

Physically, Manafort never really went anywhere: He owns an apartment in Trump Tower.

I thought Mario Balotelli only wore Crocs.

nice

*Harbor Springs

Actually, I think it’s any city intersection with a Tim Horton’s, a beer store, and a Hudson’s Bay Company.

A Canadian triangle is actually a sexual euphemism. Its a threesome that involves Poutine, flannel, and a whole lotta Gordon Lightfoot music.

D.B. Pooper