It doesn’t star Bruce Campbell circa 1992 as Gaston.

Did somebody say “candelabra”?

I feel like I’ve already watched it.

That’s just great, since most of the complaints I see about Amy Schumer are about how she only talks about her vagina.

“I would never ...” = “I didn’t realize there would be consequences for my actions.” Which is why we are seeing an uptick in racist and anti-Semitic acts; people are getting the message that they can get away with it.

Future is back.

Trump is like Michael Scott, just more clueless.

Literally nothing he has said since being elected hasn’t confirmed what we knew the whole time, that Donald Trump is a neophyte who has never actually done any hard thinking in his life, and whose only previous hard job was deciding which model he was going to hit on once he named them a winner.

“What the fuck is a ‘pension’?”

Now we know what to call him. Thanks, Sean.

Class of ‘93? He looks like he’s 60 years old!

So, let me take a look at you. Your face is very pinched and forward, like a sphincter. You know, it’s very… It’s tight and it’s dark. We can change all that!

Trump makes GWB look like a saint. That’s not a small feat.

When W. is the voice of reason, things are quite fucked up.

Has CBS considered not making a show that’s either a police procedural or a legal drama?

I am currently sitting on a 53.5 index reading with a .5mg of Xanax and a bottle of Old No. 7.3.

BREAKING: Democrats are more pessimistic about Republican led administration than Republicans.

Having spent 7 years working in a steakhouse, I can attest that there are exactly two kinds of adults who eat steak like this:

Who tells a stranger she has “nice skin?”