“Honey, that’s not what I meant by paint my taint.”

They’re brothers...

When John Wick’s dog died I lost it. Same when the two hippo/pig/dogs saved their baby hippo/pig/dog in Okja.

Go back and hit ‘em up style?

Well if they’re looking for 96 primo cds of 80's thrash, 90's/00's nu-metal/melodic death metal and a few Modest Mouse albums, have them drop me a line. They’re tucked away in the same case behind all the vinyl albums I picked up in college because I’m a garbage timetraveler.

Probably thinks he’s the Highlander anyway...

Hodor drove a Twodoor.

I don’t think the Proud Boys could get along with the Proud Family.

He’s just going to need at least 8 stacks though to get you off the charges.

He’s also metal as fuck....

Probably just a nice long talk about the importance of shear pins, really.

How does one know if he is a good boy if he is the best boy a dog could be?

- Frank

... It’s not Helix?

“Hey, welcome back! What did you miss? Oh.... well... Bill Cosby and Jared Fogel are sexual predators, oh, so is Donald Trump, and he’s our president now, the nation got really upset when a zoo shot a gorilla, and you’re going to wish you were back in that coma because you’re going to be owing us a shitload of money.”

Ansel Elgort...

Longest Earl...
Longer Tales...
Stolen Glare...
Stolen Lager...
Legal Stoner...
Tango Seller...
Gentle Solar...

Oh fuck I’m having a stroke BENGHAZI

+1 “that boy ain’t right”

“KATY PERRY IS HERE? I MUST SEE HER AT ONCE!”

There’s other people out there when they read “the Pew Center” that immediately shoot finger guns in the air and go “Pew! Pew!,” right?