I’m working towards being a Kinjfluencer, where I post populist takes for stars while freezing for fives minutes, so I end up posting it five times and get five times the stars. It’s gonna be lit.

Yeah but wait until you hear about my fantasy team.

I got like 800 stars for singing Romo’s praises in the Deadspin post on Monday (just stating that because THAT’S A LOT and to confirm any assumption of Romo-bias). I don’t enjoy him because he’s got some kind of second-sight; he’s just a much better color commentator than I’m used to. Even other competent ones like…

Since all these players are friends nowadays, I’m surprised that Westbrick hasn’t paired up in D.C. with John Wall. 

Nickell Robey-Coleman and Tommylee Lewis sound like the other guys in The Crickets.

“CJ Anderson was huge...”

Yeah but what if he powerbombed Nantz through a flaming table?

I don’t like Collinsworth much, but I think he’s probably the second-best analyst. That’s really saying something.

I think it was that throw to Gronk down the sideline where he noted, “If the safety steps up, he’s going to Gronk one-on-one.” I immediately was staring at that safety, saw him step up, and I was like, “Here it comes.”

There were a few post-game takes on a couple of channels where ex-players were like, “Yeah it’s a penalty, but you hate to see that affect the game.” Uh, then don’t line up 2 feet in the neutral zone?

“Which bone is most likely to be infected with racism?”

I thought so, but it was so dry I shrugged and hamfisted MY joke in there.

According to Kyrie, so does the planet Earth.

Paul Ryan certainly looks like he does.

Wait until the NFL realizes it’s mistake, as they were hoping to get Judas Priest drummer Scott Travis and serve everyone Big Boy burgers.

Given that Colin can’t get a contract, it’s a very subtle dig by the NFL twitter page showing Big Boi tipping his Kap.

My first thought was that it’s Ray’s family house (the one with the three mortgages).

The reason they have trouble is because they probably are shitty people, and don’t recognize that fact.

Yeah but...isn’t this literally all about Parkey and how he missed the kick?

I bet they get Papa Johns.