“The ‘Trump Fuck’ chant is meant to illustrate the power you have over your opponents, sir.”

I was already 20 when Ichiro joined MLB and I think I’d thought I was years past the part of my life where a professional athlete could ever be the kind of immortal, larger-than-life figure that, say, Michael Jordan or Lawrence Taylor or Martina Navratilova had seemed to be when I was a kid. But Ichiro was—and in lots…

As a local taxpayer, he’s not just an irate stepfather. He’s also an owner.

He was initially charged with reckless driving but after review it was determined the guy wasn’t set and the call was reversed. 

Im in the middle of writing my wedding Thank You notes.

The funny thing about the NFL is that it’s complacency breeds these one-hit-wunderkinds. When you have a league full of coaches all trying to do the same thing, just NOT doing that can oftentimes be successful in the short run.

“Why don’t they” is precisely the issue. Simms, and everyone else beside Romo, seems to not understand in the slightest what is about to happen. Can’t tell you how many times a guy has circled one side of the field - “Watch Julio Jones here!” - and the play goes in a completely different direction. It seems arbitrary.

He laid out Pat Patriot because that Jets fool can’t maul Steely McBeam.

Yes! Trade them both to Phoenix or San Antonio, and Trump will finally shut up about this, perhaps.

Hold up, let’s just send the Wall to the Thunder. And make Oklahoma City pay for it

I often wish I could mute the announcers and just have the natural sound of the game, but Romo is the exception. He is fantastic and I hope he never changes. 

FALCONPUNCH?

I voted 9-1-1 guy because nothing says 2018 more than a white person calling the cops on a black person for no good goddamn reason.

Other than the No. 21 jersey and the packaging, there’s nothing about the doll that indicates it’s Sean Taylor.

The nephew’s name? Jimbo Slice

I bet they run a Devil's Triangle offense

Ok, but it’s not enough to just say “We don’t want her.” Who DO you want? Have a couple of good candidates people can get behind. 

I don’t listen to their podcast (or any political podcasts, they’re all terrible in my experience,) but the whole middle of this piece just seemed personal. If there’s something that went down between Nick Martin and these guys that I’m not aware of, I guess it makes sense (and I don’t actually care what that is.) But…