Even though I’m a huge Jodie Foster fan, I can tell you for sure that my brain wasn’t wired for Contact.

Next time, baby!

Why did you guys use a picture of a resuscitation dummy? 

I think someone who uses Twitter is a Tweeter?

Ugh, no more fantasy talk in regular football articles! 

The tax rate over $1 million in personal income used to be super high in the early 1900s (I assume because people didn’t usually have $1 million on their W-2s), but if someone wants to institute a graduated tax schedule on the super-rich to pay down the national debt and fund programs that’ll enrich the lives of a…

You got the reference, though?

The Fox one is best when someone gets hurt and they switch it up to sad piano. 

With a punch like that, I’m expecting Nicholson will end up a captain on the Falcons. 

These are people of the land.

Not to be confused with when a pal tells a really good joke #backclap

Look at who’s doing these songs. It’s Hank Williams Jr., Carrie Underwood, Faith Hill. It’s a play to get the Bud Lite-riding-on-an-ATV crowd all riled up for the game. Oh, and sometimes give Jerry Richardson a boner.

If this whole, stupid affair has taught me anything, it’s the white people have officially assimilated the phrase “clap back”, and it’s now dead. Also, the only football song that isn’t shit is MNF instrumental. 

Except Trump isn’t going to accept anything from them, so why not give him a token offer, and say they tried? They know he’s a petulant nimrod.

So, can we start talking about whether Jackson is elite or not?

It’s probably because I was a kid, but when they used to show marathons of the Godzilla movies, that’s how I remember them. I didn’t care about the people, didn’t learn their names; I just waited for more monster fights. I agree with you on the Jaw-iness. If this one just “let’s them fight”, then I’ll be good. There…

It’s been one week since the Bulls fired head coach/ They figured it was time for a new approach

“Don’t worry, we’ve assessed the situation, and we believe he simply needs more blankets”

If there’s one thing we can gleam from Mueller’s team thus far, it’s that they’re not out here trying to make pals. They’re out here following leads to their conclusions. Remember: we’ve got OoJ and the Russian conspiracy; computer crimes and lord knows what else. I don’t think we need to worry too much about Mueller…

Machinehead is a good one.