I love you

Way better than any santa is coming to town.

I love football (yesIknowIknowIKNOW). AND I know more about football than a fuckton of men I've met in my life. AND YES THIS. THIS SO HARD.

I raised a litter of abandoned kittens in a laundry basket in my bathroom because I could keep that room warm and clean. The ONLY bathroom. At about 4 weeks they started to really, really love bath and shower time. A lot. So did I, so it was awesome until they decided to start trying to get me to drop my books in the…

A state without a single woman in it anywhere would also lose the fathers, grandfathers, husbands and male friends that do love the women in their lives who joined the exodus.

Thank you for the coffee-spritzed keyboard.

Ugh, I do not have money but there are certainly members of my family that do. As in enough money to order the entire damn catalog and not even feel it and they would NEVER EVER spend their money this way. WHO does that? And how do they continue to subsidize the inanity (not a typo, insane I have respect for, vain,…

You'd think that wouldn't you? I was a nanny, two little boys, and I learned three things when I grabbed each of them a table top tree for their rooms.

And I thought that was an ass rape with a bacon-sausage bribe to not report it to the cops. No? Maybe I could call WS and ask them to clarify.

(I am so going to hell for this) You are right, there are some people who probably genuinely loved this. There are also people who love and adore lutefisk.

Think I'd rather be a mean person who needs Jesus than a singer who needs talent, autotune, and air brushing.

I cannot decide. On the one hand I want to look because, well the fuckery. And I assume it is a good idea to know what arguments these people present.

Right this is two days late, so I'm sorry. but imma leave this here.

Exactly. My heart was sad for you until I got that you're in Austin.

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL, well if the man lacks electricity, think he's SOL without clearing out his freezer. You rock, I needed the laughs today, thank you.

Okay, totally fair. but can we make sure he has no cold soft gel ice packs or frozen peas? Pretty please. With sugar on top?

With or without a swift kick to the nads to get him out of the car?

On the upside, I found Ms. Congdon's etsy shop. Thank y'all, I love the Nordic inspired prints.

Oh, pretty sure I even have the know how to make that dream a reality, wanna make a party of it? I took lots and lots of ag classes, grandfather, uncles are farmers.

Damn it to hell, morality strikes again. A girl can dream though...