How do I do this without paying

Wonder what it sounds like when doves curse the universe?

That’s a top tier Simpsons ep. “Hey, everybody, an old man’s talking.”

Look, they said it was unlimited enchiladas. Unlimited. I didn’t do anything wrong.

OK, it does look kind of weird.

I honestly don’t think he has anything that bad. Hillary is the most publicly-vetted candidate that there ever was, and the machine behind her is ready for everything. They know what dirt there might be, and they are prepared.

yesh. poor rachel dratch has not had an easy ride in hollywood

I know he’s a kid, but it would have been glorious if when they threw him the signed ball it hit him in the other arm. Then they’d sign another ball and hit him somewhere else. Sitcom cut to him in the hospital in a full body cast covered in signatures.

WOMEN LAUGHED AT HIM.

That he’ll make Ivanka stroke his combover so he feels better?

Hmm. Looks like airport security just didn’t have ... the guts.

Woke up this morning to this post from a relative:

What is up with your town and birds?

Uh, maybe, MAYBE did it occur to you that Hinduism and Catholicism are different? It isn’t a sin to dress up or imitate any of the gods, in fact on Janmashtami many children dress up like Krishna, and pose with the flute - they personify the child spirit of Krishna. Maddona got shit from catholics because they accused…

I always love the whole “I’ve dealt with/heard/experienced so much worse” like that makes any of this acceptable. Get off your dumbass high horse you poor little had-it-worse-than-everybody-else-so-look-at-me snowflake.

Excuse me...are those Bugle Boy jeans you’re pegging?

Gee, whatever happened to not judging women for making personal decisions about their sexual well-being?

Was it Gonzo? Bc well...

I dunno how to feel about the combination of this post and this username.