I remember being scandalized as an innocent 5th grader because a dude in my tiny town got arrested for fucking chickens on the beach. Not sure why he brought them to the beach (romantic?) Anyway, it was awful because the chickens would always die from the trauma and it was quite eye-opening for my 10-year old self.

I’d be willing to rethink my stance against the death penalty for these two. I am not cool with clowns or even with hoax clowns.

Ha, yes! I was obsessed with trying turkish delight after reading the books as a kid and was sorely disappointed when I finally got the chance. It’s nasty, kind of like taffy. The books made it sound like it tasted better than angels!

Dammit. I tried but my mom still doesn’t hate me enough to stop texting me about how she’s decided that Jon Benet’s brother killed her.

I’m glad you like your new ‘do. I’m going to cut it from waist to shoulder length and I’m actually going to get it colored for the first time in my life. Scared/excited. And the salon used to be Jimi Hendrix’ apartment!

I have a sneaking suspicion that my friends are planning a similar intervention for me. Lord knows I need it but I think I hit rock bottom without their help and just scheduled an appt. for my first hair cut in two years (shameful).

No. White unicorns are getting pretty common. I’m referring to the obscure pink unicorn that you obviously haven’t seen yet. Or if you prefer: shut up, hoser.

So true that she has been writing the same book for a long time! And I just giggled out loud at your name...

Weiner’s books are like cotton candy to me - pure fluff that I’m only interested in once every few years. She should consider herself very lucky considering that she’s a rare unicorn who actually manages to make a fantastic living as a fiction author.

But he does a full 30 minute of monologues. Stewart had guest interviews, which are much easier to produce.

What they didn’t mention is that the person’s meals will consist of whatever the corgis don’t finish...

But if you read the text of what he wrote he actually used the kid as a lure by coyly saying “oh, someone just crawled into bed with me” and she wrote “really?” and then he sent that gross pic. Fucking nasty.

You must really think people are stupid if you assumed we wouldn’t understand this.

We took a group photo in the jury room on our last day of jury duty (we had been there for a month together and bonded). The court officer took it so I think it was ok (but not when there was anything official going on).

He likes women to spit on him or something! I met them once at Gracie Mansion and they seem so mismatched as a couple.

JLaw was hacked for nude photos. She wasn’t harassed and called horrific names.

Rachael Ray has the same recipe in her book and she insists that her pervert husband proposed after she made it and that women who want to get engaged should make it too. It’s 1950 all of a sudden.

Hmm, this makes a lot of sense. I think you might have nailed it.

That calendar is hanging up in my cubicle! (my boss made me remove the one I had with bad taxidermy photos)

She had a fantastic support system and is also naturally resilient (my dad was a missing child expert who specialized in reunification after abduction and worked with the family after she was found).