No, God no. I have SOME scruples...

Buy a Starter Pistol from a sporting goods store. Tell the airline you’re a referee headed to a track meet, and you need to claim a firearm in your luggage. You’ll have to follow some extra procedures, but, they’ll baby that bag all the way through from beginning to end.

That is fucking brilliant. Who says you can’t do subtle humor online?

I’m a hipster and a fraud for saying I like the man and what he stood for, even if I don’t like his music? Okay, then.

The small caption at the bottom of that graphic is perfect beyond words.

The first Zappa track I ever heard was ‘The Muffin Man’, which I loved. On the back of that I listen to that whole album, ‘Bongo Fury’, which has at least three great tracks on it.

Off the back of that, I thought maybe Zappa had an unfair rep but I didn’t know what to listen to next. Then I read a list of great albums,…

+1 on the Rothko Chapel

You will drive. Lots. Houston is big. Massive. It could be its own state if it were in the neighborhood of the original colonies.

Nothing wrong with playing the game the way you like in a random fight. Nobody’s entitled to telling other people how to have fun (or, as it may be the case, not have.)

The obvious answer is the DDT! Virtually every cool finisher is a variation of it.

Man I feel bad for your kids for having such a condescending dad. Y’all are gonna have some great blow-back when they’re teens. Even assuming you’re not just full of shit, just because your wife is a pediatric therapist that still doesn’t make you a good parent, nor does it make your assertion that only parents can…

That’s horrible.

Her secret? A beer at mile 80.

I know they were walking, but she’s still 900 miles behind The Proclaimers.

Does Jordan own JNCO stock?

If you clothes don’t have holes in them, how do you get them on?

Yeah, I’d hate to make them mad. They might stab me or something.

If you cause a ruckus to draw attention and he gets angry, what’s he going to do? Try to kill you?