This is the correct takeaway from this story.

A thick layer of mayonnaise between two pieces of Wonder bread.

Get him a 180 pound sack of shit so he doesn’t have to worry about finding a replacement columnist when he goes on his honeymoon.

So, does anyone actually, you know, play this game for fun? Because it doesn’t sound like fun.

Fair enough, but I would counter by asking if you know any backwoods hillbillies. Because the common thread with them is flagrant racism, and gun ownership is just a fringe benefit.

The best way to ensure guns don’t get banned is if every demographic owns guns.

If you’re the new left, I want nothing to do with you.

Counterpoint: Hoosiers is a bad sports movie.

Your move, Benji.

Apparently it is precisely equal to a wellactually.

I’ve never been happier that I’m so old I don’t have to understand or care about this shit.

Are you trying to tell me that wolves are cucks?

Wait, I’m making too much sense for you.

That guy is literally Leisure Suit Larry.

So snooker is like pool if pool were cricket.

Phil Jackson is starting to look like Leonard Cohen. Or at least dress like Leonard Cohen.

Hey, it is looking increasingly likely that David Moyes is going to be on the market about the same time Wenger gets cut loose.

Godwin’s law was overturned by executive order earlier this year.

First they came for the socialists, and I did not speak out — Because life is unfair and fuck those guys; you gotta pick your battles. Maybe try not being a fucking socialist next time, jackass.