EVERY SINGLE ONE of these bags has a fancy knife, a flashlight, and an expensive pen. I almost missed the flashlight in this one and was terrified the bag owner would end up trapped somewhere, cowering in the dark and struggling to subsist on whatever small rodents he could dispatch with his fancy knife.

He’s going to change his name to “El Murciélago” and continue bullfighting while emitting a series of high-pitched squeaks.

If I was on a lifeboat with one open seat and I had to choose between a monkey who could cook and a financial analyst, I’m pretty sure I know who I would save.

The impact isn’t going to be felt as a decrease in demand for Harvard grads. I suspect the impact they are worried about is going to come in the form of a reluctance to contribute the next time Harvard launches a $7 billion fund-raising effort.

Companies (and Harvard is a company) are not going to pay people $2N to do the same thing that people are getting $N for down the street. It’s not going to happen no matter what HamNo thinks is “fair.”

Companies (and Harvard is a company) are not going to pay people $2N to do the same thing that people are getting $N for down the street. It’s not going to happen no matter what HamNo thinks is “fair.”

Why does anyone care what anyone else has to say about politics?

I’m guessing that the party power structure for all these wannabe third parties view their futile presidential campaigns as advertising. Annointing a candidate to go out and represent their party during the media’s 18 months of obsessive election reporting at least gives the average voter a chance to realize that…

This sentence started by name-checking Skip Bayless, had Nate Silver in the middle, and closed with a perfect description of Donald Trump. That’s a textual shit sandwich if I’ve ever read one.

I read a little about Whole30, and it struck me as the CrossFit version of paleo diets. They are definitely at least as interested in marketing and branding as they are in health.

Unless I don’t.

When I dither, I go all in.

I can’t decide whether I want to explain dithering or not. It seems like it might be a good idea, but I keep changing my mind.

Are there people in the world who actively seek out this sort of music and listen to it on purpose? Or does it only exist for garbage fan-made highlight videos?

According to my calculations, racism in America has been reduced by 3.67 microhitlers since the NFL preseason began. At this rate, the Kaepernick effect will completely eliminate racism just after the Browns win the Superbowl.

I don’t really care much about video game tournaments; I just stopped in to say you really should move to another neighborhood.

Also, remember to keep your cats free of fleas, or they may bring home the plague!

If you have mice and you live in the western half of the US, you probably need to take some precautions to protect yourself from hantavirus.

Mr. Benson, maybe you should be doing something more productive than trolling the Deadspin comments section.

But why does anyone care what he thinks? Why do people get so upset that some random athlete may not agree with them?