Euro Cup has way better hooligans, though.

Only if he takes the whole audience from Wrestlemania out for milk and cookies after the last match.

Are we talking about the MLS team or Prince’s band?

When the revolution comes, all the business majors will have a rope around their necks.

Except that example is for question marks and exclamation points. Periods go inside closing quotation marks. Unless you’re British.

If they’re going to monkey with the acronym, why not make it MEATS?

My (backwoods) Tennessee relatives still unselfconsciously use “jew” as a verb.

I was born in Ohio and moved at a young age, but I still didn’t realize that “chester drawers” wasn’t a thing until my late teens.

Somehow Fox Sports took Pardon the Interruption, which is pretty much the shittiest thing, and made it shittier.

Ohio is like landlocked Florida; it isn’t an accident that Gummo is set in Ohio. Mrs. Compiler believes that Gummo is essentially a documentary, and I can’t really argue the point.

This is magnificent Kinja.

The easiest way to solve this is by not giving a shit about player contracts and salaries.

This was an amazing video when I rewatched it with the sound off.

That’s a perfectly valid, complicated, and somewhat confusing way to enjoy music.

I’m fascinated by the fact that we still hold singers — especially female singers—to a standard of authenticity that we don’t apply to other pop culture. We don’t get mad at actors when they use CGI for stunts. We don’t get mad at authors when they use editors to make their novels more readable. But a singer who…

I’m a vegetarian and I’m much less annoyed by people eating bacon than I am by people constantly fucking talking about bacon.

I was actually agreeing with you. But it kind of sounds like I was arguing with you.

In my experience very, very few of the guys who pursue this line of complaint are 8s. It’s usually a 4 looking to date a 9.

I live in a small town where literally everything is closed by 11 pm. So there’s that.

FRIEND ZONE IS NOT A THING.