But everyone loves my very special “hand egg” jokes!

So that’s a vomcom, then?

The absolute best way to negate all of the problems you seem to be talking about is to support feminism wholeheartedly and without reservation. The destigmatization of the feminine helps everyone. Even men.

#TEAMBOOT

The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn’t post on Jalopnik.

Go to screamer.deadspin.com and look at the article immediately preceeding this one.

I understand your point and I’m sympathetic. But I’m not sure what you’re actually advocating here. Private people with access to the internet can pretty much do what they want on social media. We live in a world where any individual can get access to a global communication platform pretty easily, and the news is full…

You’re right. Maybe we should keep all women off of social media. You know, just to be safe.

I think this is almost entirely bullshit. If you think that Tom Brady’s reaction to Malik Jackson’s opinion is going to decide the outcome of the AFC championship game then you may not have a particularly good grasp of how football works.

You make some interesting points. Why’d you have to ruin it all by saying “methinks?” Are you Hamlet?

I live in New Mexico and 100% agree with this statement. Chipotle is to Mexican food what Olive Garden is to Italian food.

He needs to forget about Twitter and focus on the game in front of him. Barça should get him some Piqué blinders.

+1 for deep Ohio cuts.

OK, I’ll stop. I wasn’t all that Inuit anyhow.

You can “get” Ricky Gervais and still not like him.

It’s enough to make you give up Hopi.

Diddy swore an oath to give Justin Bieber a white Lamborghini when he turned sixteen. #DiddySworeAnOath

Pretty sure the last thing this guy suffers from is any sense of self-doubt.

#teamcait

Long, lingering introductions of bit characters who have no real role to play in the movie. Lucas is so in love with his world-building that he forgets that he’s actually making a movie.