This is one of the reasons why I love our NHS. Yes, it’s old, yes, it’s creaky, yes, it’s underfunded by generations of Conservative-cunt voters and politicians - but it works. And the people who contracted covid in 2020 - and survived - won’t need to worry about paying ridiculous bills in the future. 

Ugh, this woman. My old high school recently renamed one of the school houses (don’t start thinking I went to Hogwarts, kids, it was a Scottish comprehensive!) for her and the reaction from the local press was interesting. My mother and the Catholic side of my family always looked upon her with a heavy degree of…

Calm down, Limp Cookie - Queen are still very much active.  They were more than just Freddie Mercury’s backing band.

Nothing - and I mean nothing - can beat the sheer creepy fuckboi of Benjamin Ingrosso from 2018. We get it - you’re moderately cute, you look good in dodgy trousers and you can sing. But stay the fuck away from me. Shoo.

Bouchard, sweetie: you’re a fucking paedophile. You raped a child. You raped a child and ended up getting her pregnant. You’re a fucking child rapist.

I’m all for either labelling someone an undereducated fuckwit or a racist fuckwit when it comes to the automatic labelling of English people “Brits”. “Brits” - especially when utilised by Americans (who, let’s face it, are generally clueless at the best of times) - is a racially-charged pejorative, fuelled by ye olde…

A Brit pretending to be a Scotsman is a less silly than a Frenchman pretending to be Scotsman...

If they want to win a few more fans over here in Scotland, they could set the final battle here in Scotland. Hell, they could drop the Yank aspect entirely (and no one would miss it) and have the entire story set in Scotland.

Calm down, dear, unclutch your pearls and understand that Queen are still around.  

Seeing as it’s Australia - aka “The Continent That Wants You Dead, Karen” - I wonder how fucking scary the ants these little shits were attracting are.  I have visions of inch-long ants breathing pure acid a la Xenomorphs, carrying off screaming toddlers to be feasted on...

Heh, Americans/Canadians playing Irish or Scottish always cracks me up. There’s only been one or two American actors that I can think of that could do a convincing Glaswegian accent. You know what would terrify the everlasting shite out of them?

Sssh! Don’t mention the Britwashing! These simple morons can’t even get their heads around the fact that Ireland, Scotland, Wales and England are separate countries! (Though if they were going to make The Ancient One a Celt, bloody well go down the OG route and make her Welsh...)

Whilst I just rolled my eyes and thought “Aye, very good Kendall, fuck off now and be your best Stepford sex-doll self”, the second photograph made me chuckle a hell of a lot. The...garment...isn’t as ludicrous as the “model” Jenners, but oh dear god, that’s an unfortunate pose.

I’ve always said three things about cats.

Your inlaws sound like they’re pricks. Best avoided in the future and I wish you all the happiness and love in the future. Remember: it’s about you and your fiance and not about their needs. If you need to cut a bitch out of your life, then you fucking well do it if you think it’s going to make the day that little bit…

I feel the same way about the Tories (Britain’s Conservative Party) being at Pride events in Edinburgh and London.  They were the party that brought in Section 28, a piece of legislation that has had numerous and often undocumented negative impacts on the LGBT community as a whole, who actively tried to re-criminalise…

Meh.  Build a bridge and get over it.  And whilst you’re getting over it, hide a packet of prawns under the floorboards and act clueless when he complains about a fishy odour.  And pour some hair-removal cream into his shampoo.

God, this looks like shite.

Our local’s been on the ropes for years now and, frankly, my wee town is hoping that this latest round of Lockdown fuckwittery’ll do it in for good. It’s been there since the 1960s, no one has fond memories of it, and it has had more owners than a rent boy’s had gentlemen callers. A fair number of people in our wee…

Love making rhubarb crumble. Mind you, I like making mixed fruit crumbles with the rhubarb as the “base” fruit (easy to do when you can get frozen rhubarb in UK supermarkets pretty much all-year round and easier still when you just want to be a lazy little slag like me and dump three bags of frozen fruit into a deep…