This could all be resolved by the ring wing nutjobs either upping their antipsychotics or just fucking off to go have a long, slow, decent wank.  

Oh, right. Prince William is “hot”.

YOUR SCHOOL IS NAMED AFTER A LOSER, YOU INBRED MOUTHBREATHING SKIN-SNIFFING INBRED ARSEHOLES.

I was going to go with mine (pretty simple: medium rare steak, equal in weight to the amount of chips with trifle to finish) but I know what my mate Derek would want - the birthday meal my colleagues and I chipped in for his eighteenth birthday. See, Derek grew up in care, was shuttled around from foster home to care…

People...

...and if it has red bits in it, call a priest...

Eh, you can buy Heinz Baked Beans with those frightening little sausages in ‘em.

*cue awful jokes and puns about stuffed crust with extra hot Italian sausage and a creamy, tangy dip...*

The lack of a prostate massager is homophobic. *shuns*

Okay so Captain Pug is really starting to piss me off. I’m hoping for a horrific and slow death. As for Battlestar...nope. Both of them rub me up the wrong way (and not in a “ooh fun sexy times!” sort of failed-sexy-time sort of way either)

*pets the blogger*

I’m going to be a bit of prick here and say this: your husband is replaceable, your sister is not. Seriously. He’s a dick, she’s your sister, you don’t really need him in your life - and god knows what fucking effect he’s having on your daughter - you’re best just getting a divorce and moving the fuck on. That’s the…

There are some vegan chocolates for sale in the UK that are just as good as other non-vegan UK chocolates (and always superior to the US products). One of the ones that I was surprised to find is Green & Blacks, namely their Velvet Edition range. G&B is, well, it’s sex in a chocolate bar, to be honest. Their Burnt…

Well I for one will continue to use my left-over pickle juice as an alien repellent...

Le bwahahaha!

You expect me to take a supervillain dressed up like an aubergine seriously?  *le slap*

Maybe Joe stopped speaking to you, Mitch, because he realised you’re about to die.  Ever thought about that?  Why talk to the Damned?

BTW - how wonderfully American Dumb it is that this Tisdale non-entity called her daughter after the Roman King of the Gods. No, seriously. I am in awe. Whatever next?!

“Tori Spelling believes if she had sex with Ryan Seacrest when given the opportunity because she might have been a Kardashian.”

Sounds like a right piece of work.