Follow Tayce on Instagram!  She’s brilliant!

MEANWHILE on UK Drag Race...I don’t know if you lot have seen it yet?  Best queen won!

I’m going to say it wasn’t deliberate, but it sure as fucking shit was lazy planning. It doesn’t take more than a few minutes to find out the space and layout of each hall at a sporting venue. Once you have the basic layout of each hall down you then take the time to plan out your facilities and layout, etc. And, FFS,…

Back away from the meat...thing. Don’t run. Slowly back away. Don’t run. Just move gently backwards, keeping an eye-lock on the meat product at all times. Don’t make a sound. And remember - its children are in the walls...they come out at night, mostly...

That pudgy wee scrote could do with lifting more weights and less tacos.  He’s a blobfish in a bowtie.

I’ll loan you my sister if you need someone to give you hugs and feed you copious lasagne.  She’s good like that.

My mother always used to marvel that my sister and I fought like cat and dog (we even did a lot of hissing at each other) but whenever someone from outside our wee family pissed one of us off that we’d gang up on the fucker involved.  Hello, Arsehole Cousin who to this date can’t walk between two mirrors...

If this is all real, then fuck, hen, you need to get shot of him and get him to take the kids too.  It doesn’t take a genius to load and operate a dishwasher!

Oh god, not another one. Cue the crazies and crystal-touting fuckwits claiming it’s a sign from the Nth Dimension!

Ssssssh! Don’t spoil the fun!!!

Bettany would have murdered that role.  I always think that Bloom’s casting was stunt-casting.  “Look, girls, we’ve got Legolas!  Come see our film!”

Just be fucking glad the Yank Right haven’t got their paws on the Reconquista. They probably won’t want to do that because, hello, Spanish and we all know what the self-loathing Right Wing think of Spanish-speaking folk but, mate - a period of war on the Iberian Peninsula that lasted for 780 years? 

Well, I just saluted that subordinate.  I’d have gone one step further and dumped his precious coffee overboard and made him drink tea for the rest of that cruise.  

Right, so here’s what I want to understand. I’m going to assume that, as the account holder, this lady was legally entitled to access the funds in her account as and when she saw fit. And that the teller was breaking the law. Am I wrong in saying this? I’m only thinking of how UK banks operate - you walk into the…

Make like your namesake, pop a can of pills in your puffy mouth, swallow a cheeseburger or three and go die shitting.

Okay Felicia.

People, take a hard look at that thing in the main picture. That is what badly-done botox looks like. Look upon it’s face and tremble.

One trick I learned from a colleague at my work is to use something like plain yoghurt or just a plain batter. Don’t forget - the purpose of dipping the food in liquid to bread it is to make the surface sticky enough so that the breading adheres. I usually just make up a simple batter with flour, water and some herbs…

I’m only (mildly) taking the piss. Do yourself a favour though - if you can stomach the sight of Scarlett Johansson wearing a £20 faux-fur coat from H&M, watch Under The Skin. It’s set in Scotland and you get to hear a wide variety of accents from the various Scottish men that Scarlett lures back to her…

Why the croc?  Is that your choice of footwear on the golf course?  *flee*