Grease prepared me for regularly seeing 30 year olds playing high school students.

This bear was THOUGHTFUL. He didn't eat the strawberry rhubarb because that would be RUDE. Everyone knows strawberry rhubarb is the best pie.

Counterpoint: My vasectomy was painless.

Much of that seems to be processed foods. With GMOs. So it’s probably (David Caruso pause), Toxic.

Or just stick with the classics.

The Kenyan sun beat down as B. Hussein Obama knelt. “Inshallah, I shall make you my wife and we will infiltrate America together,” he said.

I found another leaked screenshot.

are you dating an NBA player? If not, pretty sure you should break up with any man who wears basketball shorts

I’m not really a motorcycle person, but I loved this and now I want one. I once tried to help a friend diagnose an issue on his old Moto Guzzi. If you think the wiring was messy on that thing, try an Italian bike. I think they literally used spaghetti.

The final thing you learn is that there’s nothing more expensive than a cheap bike. :)

Of Syrian-Lebanese descent, apparently, not that it makes a difference in this context. I can see what AssFault was seeing in that particular shot, with that particular expression, but I think the comparison falls apart in all other images of him, and also if it’s not black and white.

Half of the reason my mom even wanted to date my dad was because he looked like Omar Sharif.

Even yours, Popeye.

i hear there is a big market for undergarments

I only tell my husband about my dreams if they involve me sleeping with a woman. It's the only time he cares.

Psychopaths don’t dream either. Maybe you should press her with that fact next time.

Yeah, you’re right. She should be wearing a onsie, like the one in A Christmas Story. FUCK YOUR MISOGYNY, ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY.

That shirt is offensive.

also his stupid fucking shirt

But they gave me a free tote bag at Pride Fest :( Where else am I supposed to use it?