I guess I’m going off on a tangent, admittedly, but it just seems like parenting is so excessive these days. We went on plenty of hiking trips when I was a kid. But my parents were with it enough to know that they shouldn’t be taking kids on paths that would challenge Indiana Jones.

The species was in terrible shape before hyper-parenting kicked in. Our folks WERE terrible, it’s true, if only because they couldn’t buy protective gear.

Please, this will never happen. Everything uttered in a meeting this year could have been handled via email.

Unless you’re drilling a LOT of holes in your ceiling, it seems like vacuuming or sweeping up takes just as much energy as cutting a basketball in half.

I guess it’s a product of our current age, but I remember traveling in a car for 12 hours with the bare essentials. A jug of water. A jar of peanut butter and a loaf of bread. It didn’t seem like we had a rolling Costco.

Don’t kid yourself. The only thing that will change is what the government begrudgingly admits to (because of leakers).

“We don’t have the right to bear arms because of burglars; we have the right to bear arms to resist the supreme power of a corrupt and abusive government.

While many police departments in the U.S. don’t set any quotas at all, some may still have minimums set in place to make sure that officers are actually out there doing their job.

Their name is a play off of the word “armpit” - there is no way they can be cool.

When I was a kid, I was put in the back of a station wagon with a handful of comic books and a pillow.

Wow. How did I survive infancy? I think my mom may have only packed an extra diaper or two. How I pulled through without Dasani sparkling water is a mystery.

That asshole. . . it speaks to me.

“Your dad’s shitty taste in music put to film.”

I see Leibovitz still hasn’t mastered PhotoShop. Or her assistants haven’t, at least. Not a slight to Jenner (she looks fine), but that’s a pretty bad picture, technically speaking.

Margot Kidder

Go on. . .

“Looks like them Duke Boys are at is again.”

I also have to take a shit.

What they didn’t mention is that she just finished the New York City marathon.