Their name is a play off of the word “armpit” - there is no way they can be cool.

When I was a kid, I was put in the back of a station wagon with a handful of comic books and a pillow.

Wow. How did I survive infancy? I think my mom may have only packed an extra diaper or two. How I pulled through without Dasani sparkling water is a mystery.

That asshole. . . it speaks to me.

“Your dad’s shitty taste in music put to film.”

I see Leibovitz still hasn’t mastered PhotoShop. Or her assistants haven’t, at least. Not a slight to Jenner (she looks fine), but that’s a pretty bad picture, technically speaking.

Margot Kidder

Go on. . .

“Looks like them Duke Boys are at is again.”

I also have to take a shit.

What they didn’t mention is that she just finished the New York City marathon.

It reminds me of my cat, when he wakes up and looks at me as I walk into the room.

spooky!

This is amazing.

“You’re gonna like the way you look, I guarantee it.”

The Whorship Enterprise

What about the people who constantly use the word “awesome” to describe everything and anything? Are they nicer? Or just annoying?