Inbox is terrible. Muddled, hard to look at. Just a big mess. I’ll stick with regular gmail.

Nothing quite like sucking on Cinnamon Toast Crunch scented steam through a lightsaber/dildo combo.

The pink ones would be considered Lipstick Lesbian Chic in Portland, Oregon.

PRINCECHARLES?

Spouses are like cars - they depreciate in value the minute you drive them off the lot.

She looks like a squeezed water balloon

Sweet white trash goatee, dooooood.

Good advice.

I do not need you, Facebook. In fact, there have been no social repercussions for not allowing you onto my computer and phone, at all. My life is just as full without you tracking my every single move*.

The Seiko has the advantage, I believe. I own both - the Seiko and the pictured Timex.

The Seiko has the advantage, I believe. I own both - the Seiko and the pictured Timex.

Funny! I just bought one of those and I love it.

Funny! I just bought one of those and I love it.

Hm. I was expecting something a little more. . .

THIS is why we need more guns in schools.

Carpet is so gross.

Forgive my ignorance on the matter, but don’t you have to be married in order to be a “housewife”?

He’s an alcoholic

Frank Sinatra, Jr?

I will cry at my wedding, knowing all hope is lost

Yeah, sure, tell that to Beyonce.

Men are just so non-butch these days. Harken! Those days of masculinity call!