I don’t know why anyone goes to football games.

The Bulls suck so bad that they will probably suck at sucking and somehow manage to blunder their way to the eighth seed in a very bad East.

Goddamnit! I hadn’t thought about Mike and the Mechanics in years and you have to go bring them up. Then I look ‘em up on youtube and start watching “All I Need Is A Miracle” and I forget what happens and I have to listen to the whole goddamned song to see if the manager gets the money which is a really stupid fucking…

Have you ever actually had cold cereal? 4 out of 5 of your gold tier belong in the shit tier. All except Honey Bunches of Oats in the Top tier move to God Tier.

Are you saying people of color can’t go to a farmer’s market? The market in Villa Park is pretty diverse.

If you’re not that hungry, order the large for the value and have them cut it into 6 pieces instead of 8. Duh.

I, for one, would love to see more hat catches.

They have a good Farmer’s Market on Saturdays and their bike shop is very good. Last weekend, as I was driving through the Wheaton College campus, there were a lot of people walking around. It struck me how white they were. Then I got to the Farmer’s Market and we were all white. Not a black or hispanic in sight.…

There’s a sign in the second picture that says “The Black History Night Tours”? Is that a legitimate thing? Could it be Fright Tours, or Alright Tours? Might? Right? What is that sign?

Charcoal is event grilling. It’s for Saturdays and Sundays. Propane is every day of the week. But, I saw this grill at a store called Pirch and it is the best of both worlds. It’s $17,000. I will never go back to Pirch. It made my entire life seem inadequate.

I just went and watched both the SNF and MNF openings. I’m saying SNF is better. The song sucks but Carrie Underwood is nice to look at and as far as I know she never sang a song about the south winning the civil war.

I’ve tried every way. This is the shortest miles and the same time as 65/70.

“It exists mainly so that people from neighboring states can feel grateful about not living there when they have to drive through it.”

A Milky Way is just a Snickers without peanuts. And a Three Musketeers is a Milky Way without caramel. They are like the Holy Trinity and cannot be separated and judged independently.

When I was much younger, my girlfriend decided we should do it on a blanket in a field at night. It was fun until we had kind of scooted off the blanket and I inhaled a foxtail. They’re directional, so the more I tried to expel it, the deeper down my throat it would go. It went deep enough that it made me puke and we…

Big words. He’s voted with Trump 95.8% of the time. Let’s see him REALLY stand up.

I don’t know. I like the ones that didn’t get caught.

All I got for growing up with Zeppelin is being goddamned sick of Zeppelin.

You’d be surprised. I used to own a bookstore (a mystery bookstore...back when you could sell books in an actual store). We used to have booksignings all of the time. Sue Grafton (before she was big), Robert Crais (before he was big), Bill Pronzini and Marcia Muller (never got big) and the turnout was always…