formerlydickmove
formerlydickmove
formerlydickmove
Jul 18 2019
3

When I was very young, I walked in on my parents having sex (in the middle of the day! hubba-hubba!). I immediately shut the door and ran out of the house and into the garage. My dad came out a minute later and said, “Don’t ever open our door when it’s closed. We could be wrapping presents or doing taxes or making Read more

Oct 10 2018
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Catsup and Blue Cheese Dressing for fries. Pour them right next to each other and swipe your fry through. It doesn’t taste like blue cheese, it doesn’t taste like catsup. It is a whole new flavor. Do not judge me until you’ve tried this.

Apr 13 2018
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Bless me Father, for I have sinned. It has been...Jesus! It’s been like ten fucking years since I’ve been to confession! Oops. Here are my sins. You’d better get some water or something. Ten years is a long goddamned time.

Mar 13 2018
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There’s a place in San Francisco that has the heavy door/slot/password thing. It’s a steakhouse with a speakeasy theme. You call for reservations and they give you a password. I think it’s called something like “Police Union something, something”. It was fun. They have a sliding book case that leads to a pretty good Read more

Jan 18 2018
1

Columbus and Pittsburgh are great cities. I’m guessing you’ve never been to either.

Jan 10 2018
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I understand that a person just trying to survive needs to make at least $15 per hour. But a kid living at home doesn’t need that much. I was thinking that there should be two different minimum wages based on age/situation. But then everything would be run by 16 year old kids and who wants that?

Dec 28 2017
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If the power’s out, the dolls don’t sing. So you’re not stuck with singing dolls, just dolls. Silent, lifeless dolls who don’t sing.

Dec 5 2017
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Well, shit. I just bought the echo plus with a few lightbulbs and outlet converters. Now what am I supposed to do?

Dec 3 2017
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As a die-hard Buckeye fan, I’m not really upset by this. Clemson is a motherfucking beast and I didn’t want to see another beat down like last year (Alabama will get to experience that). Instead, I get a classic Big Ten/Pac Twelve game that I think can send JT out with a win. And both of the SEC teams will lose in the Read more

Dec 1 2017
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I think that for entertainment, I’ll just drive by Applebee’s after 7 PM to watch the parking lot fights.

Nov 17 2017
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So I’m thinking all those western square states are represented by just a regular cutting board. Or do you think people in New Mexico would pay extra for the two little bump outs on the bottom? For distinctive and usable state cutting boards, I would have to go with California, Ohio, Illinois, Washington and Oregon.

Nov 7 2017
4

Looking at the tip jar, I’d say there was no more than $20 in it. I bet this woman would steal from the St. Judes charity jar at a seven-eleven.

Nov 1 2017
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Domino’s used to be terrible but they have really stepped up their game. They offer a sliced sausage as a topping. Sliced off a link. That’s not something you see often. Read more

Nov 1 2017
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How does a person go about learning to do that? It seems like it’s success or devastating injury or death.

Oct 28 2017
1

I’m gonna guess that the starting quarterback they’re without is no longer the starting quarterback.