When I was very young, I walked in on my parents having sex (in the middle of the day! hubba-hubba!). I immediately shut the door and ran out of the house and into the garage. My dad came out a minute later and said, “Don’t ever open our door when it’s closed. We could be wrapping presents or doing taxes or making…

No “Last Podcast On The Left”? I am disappointed.

Catsup and Blue Cheese Dressing for fries. Pour them right next to each other and swipe your fry through. It doesn’t taste like blue cheese, it doesn’t taste like catsup. It is a whole new flavor. Do not judge me until you’ve tried this.

He hung up on a Chicago station today.

There’s a place in San Francisco that has the heavy door/slot/password thing. It’s a steakhouse with a speakeasy theme. You call for reservations and they give you a password. I think it’s called something like “Police Union something, something”. It was fun. They have a sliding book case that leads to a pretty good…

Columbus and Pittsburgh are great cities. I’m guessing you’ve never been to either.

I understand that a person just trying to survive needs to make at least $15 per hour. But a kid living at home doesn’t need that much. I was thinking that there should be two different minimum wages based on age/situation. But then everything would be run by 16 year old kids and who wants that?

If the power’s out, the dolls don’t sing. So you’re not stuck with singing dolls, just dolls. Silent, lifeless dolls who don’t sing.

I want a duck. And a pygmy goat.

Well, shit. I just bought the echo plus with a few lightbulbs and outlet converters. Now what am I supposed to do?

As a die-hard Buckeye fan, I’m not really upset by this. Clemson is a motherfucking beast and I didn’t want to see another beat down like last year (Alabama will get to experience that). Instead, I get a classic Big Ten/Pac Twelve game that I think can send JT out with a win. And both of the SEC teams will lose in the…

I think that for entertainment, I’ll just drive by Applebee’s after 7 PM to watch the parking lot fights.

Is there a way they can fight to the death? Both of them?

So I’m thinking all those western square states are represented by just a regular cutting board. Or do you think people in New Mexico would pay extra for the two little bump outs on the bottom? For distinctive and usable state cutting boards, I would have to go with California, Ohio, Illinois, Washington and Oregon.

I am going to take this time to plug: www.burningbeancoffee.com

Looking at the tip jar, I’d say there was no more than $20 in it. I bet this woman would steal from the St. Judes charity jar at a seven-eleven.

Domino’s used to be terrible but they have really stepped up their game. They offer a sliced sausage as a topping. Sliced off a link. That’s not something you see often.

How does a person go about learning to do that? It seems like it’s success or devastating injury or death.

I’m gonna guess that the starting quarterback they’re without is no longer the starting quarterback.

I thought the kids in IT were great.