“It exists mainly so that people from neighboring states can feel grateful about not living there when they have to drive through it.”

A Milky Way is just a Snickers without peanuts. And a Three Musketeers is a Milky Way without caramel. They are like the Holy Trinity and cannot be separated and judged independently.

When I was much younger, my girlfriend decided we should do it on a blanket in a field at night. It was fun until we had kind of scooted off the blanket and I inhaled a foxtail. They’re directional, so the more I tried to expel it, the deeper down my throat it would go. It went deep enough that it made me puke and we…

Big words. He’s voted with Trump 95.8% of the time. Let’s see him REALLY stand up.

I don’t know. I like the ones that didn’t get caught.

All I got for growing up with Zeppelin is being goddamned sick of Zeppelin.

You’d be surprised. I used to own a bookstore (a mystery bookstore...back when you could sell books in an actual store). We used to have booksignings all of the time. Sue Grafton (before she was big), Robert Crais (before he was big), Bill Pronzini and Marcia Muller (never got big) and the turnout was always…

I gotta say...I was pleasantly surprised. Snarky Drew is great in small doses, but I was afraid of a whole novel of Snarky Drew. It had just the right amount of snark. I really enjoyed it. I’m talking about The Hike.

I’m thinking it was more the rabies than the raccoon.

I’ve lived in two neighborhoods that were great. Several families would get together at least once a week. Our common bond was alcoholism.

Scot. One motherfucking T.

I find that if I circle the car and then take a picture of its badge, I can identify it 9 of 12 times.

It’ll never get to Ryan, because if Trump goes, then Pence picks a VP and when Pence goes, that VP gets the job. If Pence goes, Trump selects Ivanka as VP and she gets the job when Trump goes and she selects Jared as VP when she’s elevated.

You turn the thermostat DOWN to make the AC go UP.

What a fucking tool. He’ll be perfect at Michigan.

A wooder ice, to be precise.

The guy who wants to fly should buy a VR racing drone. It is as close to piloting a fighter jet as you can get for a few hundred bucks.

Saying Cincinnati Chili is bad based on Skyline is like saying Hamburgers are bad because you ate one at a Burger King.