You think a cop is going to enforce the left lane law when the guy is ABOVE the speed limit? You’re crazy.

I once took a nap at 5:00 on a winter Saturday evening. I’d just got off the phone with my wife (I was in Chicago on business) and it wasn’t so much of a nap as it was I fell asleep reading.

I think you just want to be mad.

And here’s the thing about sparklers. I wouldn’t let my child play with matches or a lighter, but I have no problem letting them hold something that’s hotter than the sun.

When I was younger, I worked in the warehouse at Disneyland, 3:30 - Midnight shift. So every day in the summer, we would break and go out back to watch the fireworks. They were set off about a hundred yards away.

Are you sure about this?

I want the 25% of you sick fucks to identify yourselves so that I can avoid ever meeting you.

I’m 50 and I’ve been riding skateboards since I was 12. I don’t go to skateparks, I don’t do ollies or kickflips. I ride a 46” long board like other people would ride a bike or a pair of skates.

This is a terrible karaoke song. Way too slow and way too long and way too boring.

You are really trying to milk this.

This guy? Really?

nearly 30 years ago, you could have stopped at my Mystery Bookstore in Cambria. Foul Play.

You drove PCH and the only stop you mentioned was San Luis Obispo and the Madonna Inn? Did you miss Big Sur, San Simeon, Cambria, Cayucos, Morro Bay, or Pismo?

I remember a few of the ads for the Gremlin. One stated that if you followed a Gremlin, a pretty girl would eventually get out (they then showed a beefy construction worker exit the vehicle and added...”Almost every time).

Two things: In Indiana, they just put up construction area signs (fines will be doubled), string out a few orange barrels for two miles, and then say “End Construction”. There is no construction. They are lying liars.

I’m assuming that this was not directed at me?

What word do you get to use that I, as a gentile, cannot? You have to have a word.

There are no laws in Illinois (especially outside of Chicago). Example: The speed limit on 80/294 is 55. I’m doing 75 and am being passed like I’m stopped.

“Creep” by Radiohead or “Glycerine” by Bush

#notallgoats