That looks exactly like my car. I love it.

So that's not Ver-SALES outside of Pittsburgh?

I had to watch that commercial 30 or 40 times before I knew it was for a phone. Now I need to watch it another 30 times to see what kind of phone it is.

That's 5 minutes of training and 1:55 standing in line at the wrong window.

It's a video of Bryant binge-watching glee.

I had heard that spraying vinegar on your windshield and side windows would lessen ice accumulation. Is that true? Or is it just a trick to get my car smelling like a douche?

I was born and raised in California. It's too crowded unless you get out to the desert and who wants to live in the Mojave? Plus it's too expensive. Plus, it catches on fire every summer and then slides in the winter. If you're wealthy enough to live in Newport Coast, California is a fine place. If you have to live in…

You could go the other way and get an AMC Pacer...

She's a peach, that one.

Condolences. My dad passed away last month and my youngest sister took to facebook like it was her therapist. She absolutely had to prove she was the only child affected by his death. And even if her four siblings WERE affected, she was affected more.

I was snorkeling near a jetty in Newport Beach. I looked down and saw the white flash of a shark just below me. I came out of the water screaming and made for the jetty. As I swam, I looked behind me and there was the shark, right at my feet. I swam harder. I looked back and there was that flash of white! I kicked out…

This just sparked a memory for me: My first childhood home was next door to a man who had racing pigeons, so it was not unusual to see a flock of them flying a specific course in the sky. Since this was all I'd ever known, it seemed normal to me. Thinking back now, it wasn't that normal at all.

I read this as "Aaron Hernandez DuJour Has been Released".

I love Toothpaste for Dinner and his Married to the Sea.

I was brought up Catholic. I really enjoyed it. I love the tradition and pageantry. I love the structure of the mass. I have no bad memories growing up Catholic and plenty of good ones. In fact, my dad passed away last month and we held a full mass for him. It was oddly comforting.

We've raised our three kids outside of church. We are not atheists. We are not agnostic. We believe there's a higher power but we're not sure what or who it is. We celebrate Christmas and Easter. We celebrate Independence Day and Memorial Day. We have never forbade our kids from going to church and they have been…

I hope he picks the Mer-man.

Dude. Don't go see the latest Annie. I mean, shit.

Okay, the "coffee latte" guy. Lighten the fuck up. You knew exactly what she what she wanted.

Teddy Bears and cats. I will somehow end up dating her.