It was around 1983 when I was pulled over on my way to Rocky Horror. I was dressed as Frank N. Furter. The cop asked me to exit the vehicle. So I'm standing on the side of the road in a bustier and women's bikini bottoms and fishnet stockings in the middle of the summer and people were slowing down to take a good look…

Traitorous Jack is the worst of all spiced rums.

AND THE MAN ON THE SIDE IS MAKING FUN OF MY ERECTILE DYSFUNCTION!!!

I just sing the "States and their Capitals" along with it...

Really? That's your argument? That you could tell that a member of a racist organization is racist? The NYPD's express purpose is NOT to be a worthless dirty sub human sociopath. So there's probably some leeway here.

13. If you are asked to leave, leave. Don't fight the bouncer and don't hang around outside.

My wife and I, when we were young, used to buy cars stupidly. We never had enough to put down and then we'd be upside down and tack the negative equity onto our next car payment. Finally, we ended up trading in a Ford Aerostar (the only vehicle I've ever owned that I actively hated) with a ton of negative equity on a…

Why Does He Capitalize Every Word In Every Sentence?

"I don't wish her bad luck, but I hope she gets hit with a car."

Yo, California Chrome! I heard you like your morning workout with your morning workout, so we put some morning workout in your morning work out so you could work out in the morning.

I don't know. How many kids go to prom? Millions? How many of these "promposals" have we seen/heard about? Maybe a hundred? Doesn't seem like a big problem.

Because it's in Michigan and they used to make cars there.

This is exactly why I walk around the house and office yelling, "Touchdown!"

It is gorgeous. But it is soooo hard. well, hard for me, because I'm average at this game at best.

A Van. So you can LIVE IN IT DOWN BY THE RIVER!!!

When I was a student at SDSU back in the 80's we spent a lot of time in Mexico. If I remember correctly, a 20-pack case of 10-oz Coronas was $5.00 and you got ten cents deposit back on each bottle. That is the exact price that Corona is worth: $3.00 a case

That looks so great. I was really enjoying it until I saw an updated Rainbow Road and my palms started to sweat and I clenched my teeth and got a terrible headache. Then I saw what looked like mushroom gorge and I felt better.

Completely ruined Twofer Tuesday.

What is that? I want it.

That happened to us like 20 years ago except we just had our channel crossed with someone else. We woke up in the middle of the night to a woman cooing, "Baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby." Then she'd start it over. I was in my son's room in a flash and he was sleeping and there was no one in the room, but I could…