And to think she did that for $5.00 an hour and a clean vagina.

And not so coincidentally, every single guy that picks up a guitar does so to meet girls.

I think it makes a nice 2nd piece of bread to Day Above Ground's "Asian Girlz" for Nickelback shit sandwich.

There's a girl at my work who looks a lot like you. Can I assume she has your same sense of semi-naughty humor?

Avril Lavigne's first hit was "Sk8t3r Boi". She has never been presented as smarter than anything.

The only thing that could have made that better is if Vin Scully was announcing.

"...says he will announce three new lawsuits against Hollywood executives whom Egan claims also sexually abused him during a Monday afternoon press conference."

I'm really glad this isn't a murder/suicide story.

I cannot play basketball. Period. I have no excuse. I'm 6 feet tall, reasonably athletic, but put a basketball in my hand and I am instantly turned into an uncoordinated idiot with bad judgement.

Diplos were never as fun as Legos.

This is great news for bears. Think of all the families who will watch this before they go on vacation to Yellowstone and rub peanut butter on their kids' faces so the friendly bears can gently lick the peanut butter off.

We call it "You Bitch" because that's what we all say to each other. And before anyone gets riled, my kids are all adults.

I simply cannot spoon without it leading to sex. Even if we just had sex. I'm a bad spooner.

I fully expected this guy at the end.

There's also a new Donkey Kong, right?

The Reese's Fast Break is one of the best candy bars out there. Also, does anyone remember a candy bar called "Milkshake"? It was kind of like a Milky Way, but way, way better.

This one game is going to make me get a WiiU. Damn.

I'm glad you didn't combine those activities.

DAMN YOU, DOUG HENNING!!!

Watching that gave me a concussion.