I'm thinking it was a defective product. You're a shampoo apologist.

Marloes Horst is smoking and has an open sore on her lip. Ain't no one kissing that.

Well, were you?

So, the family has lived like that for 7 years. But the kids are 1 and 3. Apparently THEY haven't been living like that.

I hope that this movie is chock full of rape jokes so I can sit back and watch the Jezebel commenters' heads explode.

That show wasn't funny at all. It was like a nightmare of theater nerds.

When we play as a family, we take turns picking the track. My son ALWAYS picks Rainbow Road because he knows he can kill us at it. Oh, and he's 22.

Rainbow Road is stupid hard.

Jumpin' Jesus, it was in portrait!

Her Swiss Cake Rolls are amazing.

The NASCAR one didn't work out so well.

I'm sure that girl's parents aren't very happy about that, either.

That's a lot of money spent on bourbon (especially the Pappy Van Winkle). I'll just mix them all with Jim Beam, thanks.

Okay. I'll admit it. I was one of the kids that actually had a pony (and then horses) growing up. We lived in the country and having horses was something my dad always wanted. My first pony was Margaret. She was evil and tried to kill me on a weekly basis. My dad said I was not allowed to be afraid of her. I had to…

Somebody needs to tell this guy that you do NOT fuck with Calvin and Hobbes. The rest...okay. But not Calvin and Hobbes.

I don't understand why this is even slightly upsetting to anyone. Here's a southern redneck who has disparaging views about gays. What did you expect? Why would what he says upset you? It means nothing except that he is who he is. You're not going to change him or the thousands that think like him. The title of this…

That's nothing. When I was a kid, we made and ate our own candy and God knows what was in it...

I was once in New York on business from Columbus, OH. We were staying at the Helmsley near Times Square. As we went out that night to get some dinner, I saw a woman that looked exactly like my mom. She was with a man that looked exactly like my dad. As we passed, I said, "Mom?" She looked at me like I had just come…

I will not play their concert for $10,000. that's a deal.