Toward's the end, when she types "Be happy and make someone SO happy."

That hurts. Hell of a run, though Craft.

My son is also pre-med at OSU and he shares quite a few classes with Aaron Craft. My son is cynical. As cynical as a 22 year old college student can be. He genuinely likes Aaron Craft. Says there's no bullshit about him. He is how he appears.

Fred Phelps: Jesus! I've spent my life doing your work! Open up those pearly gates!

You'll be surprised at how easy the recovery is. I actually pressure-washed our deck the day I had mine done.

When I went in for mine (nearly 15 years ago), I was laying on the procedure table and the room was freezing. There were several nurses around. The doctor came in, said hello, grabbed my package and a needle and said, "You're going to feel a little prick."

But it was filmed at UC San Diego...

Why is a car called "Spark" not electric?

As far as I know, yes. It's basically a DUI

I bet she's never had Buttermilk Pie.

Are you sure that's not an anti-gay poster?

I volunteered for a charity group called New Horizons in Orange County, CA. We would take kids with learning disabilities on fun outings. Sometimes camping, sometimes Disneyland, sometimes a movie. The point was it was just for fun. Many of the kids were DS.

She's puttin' the "gag" in Gaga.

Ten bucks says he'll explain the birds' behavior.

I bet she's absolutely zero fun to hang around with.

Holy Jesus Mother Fuck. Why would you give any fucks about a stupid Canadian cooking show? I swear to God, do you just continuously google "Slights against women no matter how small" until it produces this weak-ass shit?

In order to work a Capri Sun, you have to be smarter than a Capri Sun.

I make the 400 mile trip from Chicago to Columbus, OH (and then 400 miles back) about every two weeks. The way I keep my insanity is Spotify Premium and I take a different route almost every time. Sometimes, when I'm not in a hurry, I'll just turn onto a country road and keep going in the directions I need to until I…

Woah, woah, woah. If I don't give her a ring, how do I mark her as "taken"? A tattoo, maybe?

Wow. Lots of words about a stupid reality show.