A Van. So you can LIVE IN IT DOWN BY THE RIVER!!!

When I was a student at SDSU back in the 80's we spent a lot of time in Mexico. If I remember correctly, a 20-pack case of 10-oz Coronas was $5.00 and you got ten cents deposit back on each bottle. That is the exact price that Corona is worth: $3.00 a case

That looks so great. I was really enjoying it until I saw an updated Rainbow Road and my palms started to sweat and I clenched my teeth and got a terrible headache. Then I saw what looked like mushroom gorge and I felt better.

Completely ruined Twofer Tuesday.

What is that? I want it.

That happened to us like 20 years ago except we just had our channel crossed with someone else. We woke up in the middle of the night to a woman cooing, "Baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby." Then she'd start it over. I was in my son's room in a flash and he was sleeping and there was no one in the room, but I could…

And to think she did that for $5.00 an hour and a clean vagina.

And not so coincidentally, every single guy that picks up a guitar does so to meet girls.

I think it makes a nice 2nd piece of bread to Day Above Ground's "Asian Girlz" for Nickelback shit sandwich.

There's a girl at my work who looks a lot like you. Can I assume she has your same sense of semi-naughty humor?

Avril Lavigne's first hit was "Sk8t3r Boi". She has never been presented as smarter than anything.

The only thing that could have made that better is if Vin Scully was announcing.

"...says he will announce three new lawsuits against Hollywood executives whom Egan claims also sexually abused him during a Monday afternoon press conference."

I'm really glad this isn't a murder/suicide story.

I cannot play basketball. Period. I have no excuse. I'm 6 feet tall, reasonably athletic, but put a basketball in my hand and I am instantly turned into an uncoordinated idiot with bad judgement.

Diplos were never as fun as Legos.

This is great news for bears. Think of all the families who will watch this before they go on vacation to Yellowstone and rub peanut butter on their kids' faces so the friendly bears can gently lick the peanut butter off.

We call it "You Bitch" because that's what we all say to each other. And before anyone gets riled, my kids are all adults.

I simply cannot spoon without it leading to sex. Even if we just had sex. I'm a bad spooner.

I fully expected this guy at the end.