I bet she's absolutely zero fun to hang around with.

Holy Jesus Mother Fuck. Why would you give any fucks about a stupid Canadian cooking show? I swear to God, do you just continuously google "Slights against women no matter how small" until it produces this weak-ass shit?

In order to work a Capri Sun, you have to be smarter than a Capri Sun.

I make the 400 mile trip from Chicago to Columbus, OH (and then 400 miles back) about every two weeks. The way I keep my insanity is Spotify Premium and I take a different route almost every time. Sometimes, when I'm not in a hurry, I'll just turn onto a country road and keep going in the directions I need to until I…

Woah, woah, woah. If I don't give her a ring, how do I mark her as "taken"? A tattoo, maybe?

Wow. Lots of words about a stupid reality show.

That album, Fizzy, Fuzzy, Big, and Bouncy is one of the best albums of the 90's. Fact.

You're not the only one. I accidentally ran over a vagina in my car last weekend. We tried to save it, but it was too far gone. The owner was devastated. I felt terrible about it.

I am the Ted Bundy of watching movies alone.

You know 95% of all men would just rub that Warhead all over his cock and balls.

That'll look nice sitting next to my Ford Head-On Collision

This is beautiful. The spelling was correct, the profanity was dispersed nicely, and he made his point very clear.

OMG! A list on Deadspin that I pretty much agree with. I am astonished.

"reputation, standing in the community, shame, mortification, hurt feelings, embarrassment, and humiliation."

NO!!! THIS LIST IS ALL WRONG!!! YOU IDIOT!!!

I'll bet those crabs on Christmas Island are also poisonous and aggressive. Because Australia won't have regular crabs.

This list is actually backwards.

Yakkity Sax makes everything better.

I like this new feature where you click on a story, an ad starts but doesn't load and then you only get to see the bottom third of the video. That's a neat feature. Thanks, Kinja!

Let's take the Grand Canyon away from them, too. Maybe give it to Nevada.