"...codeine and promethazine mixed with Sprite and a Jolly rancher..."

I can imagine that his daughter had an outstanding debt at Office Max. He called and explained that his daughter had been killed in a car crash. The person on the phone typed the information into the account but maybe it was the wrong field.

I got one that said:

io and Michigan actually fought a war. Over Dayton. Smart.

We know how to rock in Columbus. Yes, we do.

They ate at Lone Star? What's next? Olive Garden? Max and Erma's?

The baby shouldn't have been there. But neither should cell phones, loud talkers, obnoxious boors, or underdressed celebrities/models.

I've only seen one of the movies, but I don't understand why it didn't win all of the awards.

That's some good damned butter, right there.

I saw a semi do that on I-69 near I-80 in Indiana on Sunday afternoon. The 8 inches of snow on the ground may have contributed.

"Your Boss Just Got Finished Here"

This is nice. I like when Deadspin does nice.

This is gonna make for the best meetings and presentations EVER!!!

I'm in an all-male Go-Go's tribute band called The Bro-Bro's.

Dear Aubrey,

t took me 34 hours to drive from Columbus, OH to Chicago. I had to stay at the Ramada in Angola, IN.

I love da Axe,

I'm sure he did. Everyone wants to be a hero. But that last interception would have fallen 20 feet short of his target if it hadn't been picked off. Kenny Guitton should have come in and I bet the Buckeyes would have won.

So I just spent 15 minutes reading all three parts of "What My Older Lover Did In Bed Blew My Mind" and they haven't even made it to bed yet. It's like the worst Penthouse Forum, ever.

You forgot "Too Cute". Because it is as advertised: TOO CUTE.