Ken Layne has a whole poorly written column on why saying "Holy Shit" is offensive to him as an atheist.

Can I turn this burner account into a real account. My last burner account crashed and my code wouldn't let me back in. I had followers and shit. Also, I'm whiny as fuck right now.

This is the most douchetastic thing I have ever seen.

I don't care about any of these people and I shouldn't have clicked open this article. Now I'm posting here. What the fuck is wrong with me?

I can't tell which is more unappealing. People posting cloying pictures of their hobbies and interests or people writing an article deriding them for doing that.

Well, to be fair. It's money and pussy-eating. Probably more the money, but don't discount the eating of pussy...

My daughter had her 7th birthday brunch at the NY location. It was the high point of her life up to that point.

That kid was thinking, "Man! These people are REALLY digging these head bounces and...oh. The stands fell down. Crap."

She should have just gone all New Zealand on him and said, "YAR-GA-BAR-RAHR-RAHR-RAHR-GRAWR!!!!"

There were big problems when they switched it to the steering column. People would get their legs all caught up in the steering wheel.

Regardless of how you feel about the bear, that monkey is NOT monkey of the year.

Based on my experience, it would take me months to get those bras off that tree.

I read the headline as "Women Are Ruining Shit" and I was like, "Hell Yeah!!!"

I have a small scar on the back of my neck where I had a cyst removed years ago. When I read a story like this, I like to pretend that the scar is from having all my fucks removed and I don't have any left to give for pieces of shit like this girl.

Hey now. But truth be told, my wife and I looked at each other like , "Where have you been taking her..."

This is gonna give the pro-life people fits. I mean 120th tri-mester?

I'm not sure where I stand on this. My daughter is the youngest sibling to two boys. When she became old enough to be cognizant of what she wanted to play with she had access to all kinds of toys and games. I mean everything from Power Rangers to Lego's to Polly Pocket.

"I, a solidly middle-aged adult, just got braces. These things are a giant pain in the ass..."

Stephen King's kid Joe Hill has some really good books out: Horns, Heart-Shaped Box, and especially NOS4ATU. The horror/fantasy fan will love them.

I slained those reptilians. I slained them so bad.