I would totally guilt the hell out of them, via office email thread: “Someone has dug up and taken my succulent plants from an arrangement that was given me because it has been a tough year; my mother is fighting a tough cancer. I would like that back please, no questions asked, as it is dear to me, and MY MOTHER HAS…

In my extensive scientific studies, CBD does nothing, weed is fucking awesome.

Ask him about a hot dog? Naw man, this dog has ninety nine problems but a bitch ain’t one.

Easy - Jeff the Mannequin from Today’s Special.

I see your dad humor, and suggest that you are, indeed,

I’d watch that reboot just to see Tim Gunn’s face every time she spoke. 

I disagree. As a lover of strong heroine, i want to see more representation of this in film and music media. More Carrie Fisher, more Tatum Oneil, even the tales of Amy Winehouse and Courtney Love are all about strong women and their humanising problems.

Correction: Guys who don’t text that you should get checked for chlamydia are the worst. 

Yes, contact UK authorities. Traveling to fuck children in poor countries is a real thing.

I will recycle this from a past Pissing Contest, seems to fit the theme.

100% can’t Would this enough.

Yeah I would too, I think he’d be pleasant to smoke weed and watch funny shit on Netflix with in between fucking so why not?

Duh, of course I would. He’s cute-ish in a scruffy way, he’s rich, he smokes weed, he’s funny and he seems to be fairly pro-woman. Not sure what more anyone is looking for.

Its a Would for me and I’m not even sorry. Cute hair, nice eyes and is willing to go testify before congress for the off chance they give a fuck about helping his wife? Swoon. The only downside is his shitass friends Jonah Hill and the fucking Francos.

Or a genie?

100%. They keep pushing the abortion thing not because they actually give a fuck about life - if they cared about life they would be working towards free daycare, better funding for schools, gun control, universal healthcare, etc. - but because it gets the idiots who really do buy the “poor babies!” rhetoric to get…

I was at a bland mexican restaurant that caters to the uninspired in our collegetown last weekend and I asked if they could do a paloma—it’s not on the menu but, I mean, come on. The waitress pulled a face and said, “No,” so fast I was taken aback. I hate going to that place so much, but the other good taco place…

I just spent a week drinking my way through Italy and you cannot escape the Aperol spritz. It’s literally everywhere at all times of the day or night. And it’s fine. I wouldn’t go out of my way and say it’s delicious, but for sitting at a sidewalk table at a cafe, watching people go by? It’s perfect. The best one I…

I guess we can stop wondering how German citizens lived through the Third Reich. Just like this.

If I could pick from any of the looks in the exhibit, I’d go with this one: