It’s like those crime dramas when the killer inadvertently admits to the crime.

I’m on the west coast and Jeopardy has always been first. As soon as the contestants on Jeopardy start shaking hands at the end, it’s a scramble to change the channel before Pat and Vanna make their entrance.

It’s funny because I life in a Jeopardy-first state (New York) and I’m always like WHY WOULD ANYONE SHOW WHEEL FIRST??

The most underrated band of the ‘90s was Poop Towel.

Stop trying to make slightly more gritty Michael McDonald a thing.

Republicans have no bottom? That’s news to Lindsay Graham! 

As someone working airline logistics, all I gotta say, is I hope people remember asking for this the next time their flight cancels because the airline couldn’t get a replacement crew there.

* Technically, his penis’s estate. There won’t be much left. But the loss of consortium claims I’m filing on behalf of his hand will be frankly epic.

One year. New Jersey’s gubernatorial election is in 2017

I love living in New Jersey, so there.

At least NJ got rid of Scott Garrett, NY cannot say the same of Tom Reed.

Kanye West will do his Kanye Best to get some Kanye Rest.

The moldy potato in the back of my pantry looks better than that sentient hemorrhoid .

Talk about Koreshing my hopes and dreams, amirite?

Watching Rick Ross hit on Martha Stewart was not a thing I knew I needed until I had it, and it is PERFECT.

Personally, I simply want to reduce the vaping community down to the size where I can drag it into the bathroom and drown it.

As an Irish-American, I wish the appropriators would tone it down a bit on St Patrick’s Day or just drink to excess in the name of their own ethnic group.

So I think we should have a debate with no moderator.

Where in the world was Matt Lauer during this interview?