Wait - Bowser is mayor of DC? Somebody check the mayor’s office for kidnapped princesses! But watch out for fireballs and flying hammers.

It doesn’t make a difference if you’re in Milwaukee, New York or LA. The whole goal is winning. So we hope it would be players like Anthony Davis and others who want to come to Milwaukee.

You remember that Sunday morning, two months after dad left, you wake up and notice mom’s hair is seriously mussed, and then you walk into the kitchen and dad is making eggs like the past eight weeks never happened . . .

Somehow I’m sure I’ll find a way not to root for him.

An 8 point deficit to Europa?

“SLIPPED & FELL ON WET FLOOR AT HOME & ALSO HAS HAD SEX TOY STUCK IN VAGINA FOR 8 MONTHS”

really great job not asking

Addiction is such a terrible demon to battle. Mental health issues, the same. To hell with the football games, I hope that Josh gets his life and his mental health straightened out soon. I feel for him.

But it worked in Brockway, Ogdenville, and North Haverbrook!

On this note, has anyone else’s notifications been fucked to hell and back? 

You’d be amazed. Raiders fans travel well, thanks to the massive bus fleet owned by the California Department of Corrections.

Pat would be extremely disappointed to have his family affairs play out in the public

There are many things to love about Drew, but the thing I love the most about him is how effusively he lives his life

My god this is a terrible take. 

sir this is an arby’s

He is risen!

he doesn’t have the shooting range for the modern game.

Tyrone, you stupid fat bastard…

Does Texas deserve this? Don’t ax me.