I've thought about science policy, and there's a program through...the NIH, I think? But I think I've missed the deadline on that. Might apply for next year, though, depending on how the job search goes...

I don't get snobby about much, unless someone goes on the defensive and is all, "But this piss beer is waaaaaay better than that not-piss beer you're drinking because THIS IS WHAT REAL AMERICANS DRINK."

A lot of that was me over-exaggerating! In about a month's time, I will have a doctorate in molecular biology. Which, if I wanted to do research, would be helpful. The issue is that I don't want to do research. I don't particularly want to teach, either. The research is a big one—all this bench work has induced a lot…

• We grew up with a model, and set of assumptions, that proved untrue. During our childhoods, unemployment was low, houses gained in value, a bachelor’s degree left you prepared for a variety of employment opportunities and investing was a sound decision. Now all of those things aren’t the case. It’s our job to deal…

If you're constantly bragging about your diet and your workout on Facebook? It sucks. Just acknowledge it. Running five miles frequently sucks giant donkey balls. But it's good for you and it can help your overall health and that's awesome. You're trying to convince nobody but yourself here. Posting a pic of your food…

I'm originally from Iowa. My brother's wedding involved 400 guests. It was craze-balls. Not that many showed up to the ceremony, though. Mostly just the reception. But still—bonkers. And expensive, considering food.

God, whatever. She is not the worst human being alive. Maybe she's shallow and materialistic, but so are probably every other celebrity covered here at Jez, and they're not all being called out as the worst human beings alive. She is a little unrelatable, but so are Jennifer Aniston and Angelina Jolie and Katy Perry…

I am now super sad that The Best Man isn't on Netflix streaming.

My dog has the same fondness. He once pulled one out of the garbage out in back of our building.

There is a difference between acknowledging menstruation and destigmatizing it and just like, playing with your menstrual blood.

Bwahahaha. That's an awesome story.

That's because pictures of Nixon ARE funny.

I'm also admittedly worried about the next president. There was some trivia trotted out during the election—something like the U.S. has never had a Democrat POTUS for more than two sequential terms since Roosevelt/Truman? I mean, to be fair, I don't think Republicans did too well there either, since their last more…

I'm not a feet lover, by any means, but as long as you keep that shit maintained, whatever. Keep your nails trimmed and neat looking at the very least, don't just hope that toe fungus goes away, maybe not have obvious dirt all over your feet unless you've just come out of the dirt and are on your way to wash them off,…

I grew up in a middle class rural home. Like, we were middle class because we were rural (farm, then a town of ~400 people). If we were in a town of even 20,000 people, we'd be lower middle class at best.

Someone once asked me if I wanted kids and I replied, "Maybe, if only so I'll have someone to take deal with my shit when I am old and senile and accidentally setting the house on fire."

This is a terrible tragedy.

That Alan Cumming video is the best fucking thing to happen to me all day.

YES. OMG, why are tampons so fucking expensive? Hate. Luckily the custodians at work like me (and my office puppy), so they brought me a whole box of 'em to stash in the office so I didn't have to trek across the building to the only bathroom with a tampon dispenser. They're the very uncomfortable cheap cardboard…

Truth.