I think there were $20 in my bank account, and I had a MUNI Pass. My family was on the other end of the country, which he knew, and to an extent, I think he was counting on. I was new to the city and didn't have any friends to call (hence being out with Gollum in the first place).

Because I was young and hadn’t yet learned the art of Shutting Shit Down, we were in contact for a few more weeks and several more phone calls.

Visa. It was the first time in my life I wasn’t able to pay the entire balance of my bill, but I didn’t get raped by a coworker who reminded me vaguely of Gollum, so I called the interest charges a win.

I went on a super fancy date with a guy under similar circumstances in San Francisco, except I drank the wine. I asked, somewhere between course eight and nine, what time the last train ran. He said 1 a.m. It was midnight.

Standing outside the very-much-closed train station, he said, “A taxi will cost you at least $50…

While that might take care of future generations, it doesn’t do a lot for the existing crop of 18-corpse-year olds who are running around trying to have a drink with a friend or a date with a potential beau this weekend, you know?

Teenage shape-shifters? Get me a bottle of wine and clear my calendar.

I would hate read at least four of them before coming to my senses.

Do they get a rep as a non-racist utopia? I grew up in the American south, but lived a few years outside Toronto as a teen.

As a normie with a PhD that’s been gathering dust for about five years, Ima need to borrow that eagle.

No one asked for it yet, Bobby. No one asked for it yet.

As long as none of the trans models experience a sexual assault or racism, this should be great!

Deliberately, I assume. Every time there’s an article about Woody Allen, people like the above come out of the woodwork to raise spurious concerns about the truth in Dylan’s testimony because they live in a basement somewhere and derive perverse pleasure in getting a rise out of other commenters.

This is a great idea, but as someone who teaches a lot of classes to unwilling students (hooray gen ed requirements!), I am here to tell you that you cannot teach someone about something they already “know.” No matter how credentialled you are, no matter how many scare quotes should go around “know.”

I would totally…

I just got out of the world’s second most pointless and demoralizing meeting (the first most pointless and demoralizing was yesterday) and this may have saved my life.

Bless you.

There’s a fairly graphic death-by-tuberculosis scene in one of the early seasons of The Tudors. I’ve always liked Romantic literature and opera, but it pretty hard to go back to finding any portion of La Boheme (Rent) or La Traviata (Moulin Rouge-adjacent) romantic after watching Margaret go out.

That thing when you read, “Mother to Tinkerbell,” immediately know what the author is referencing, and then wonder why you remember that but not where you put your passport.

My brain is full of useless 2000s information.

I’m sure that’s a huge comfort to both the mother you’re quoting and the child who now lives in lifelong uncertainty.

It occurs that naming a book It’s All Easy would be spitting into the eye of God, if I did it.

Good luck with that, Gwyneth.

Maybe for you?

Silver lining: It seems the number of “oh, another one” occurrences has tripled in recent years, which may mean more young women are refusing to be silenced.