Hugh Hefner’s attempt at shade? FluterDale would give it a C-, but maybe the honorable Kara Brown will weigh in.

He doesn’t still rough-house with the cat, but I came in five or so years after the habit was set. He does what he does.

He’s not ultra-affectionate. It’s difficult to explain.

He was borderline feral when my now-husband found him in a dumpster. He was slightly less feral for however many years they lived alone. (The hubs likes to rough-house, and this is not a cat who enjoys that.) He still bites, scratches, and destroys shit, and god…

Tell that to the cat wedged between my armpit and ribcage.

The dog is an idiot and does it on accident.

When I disturb his nap in whatever yoga pose, the cat goes outright postal. His wounds are inflicted on purpose. His internet nickname is Sh*tty K*tty for a very, very good reason.

Our cat uses me as a perch if I try to yoga at home.

As much as I hate it, it beats the dog, who has literally given me black eyes and bloody noses from trying to get cozy while I was in motion.

Dream or nightmare?

Bonus points for inclusion of llama pics.

At least one of the stores in our district will be on the list. I’m crossing fingers it’s not me.

I paid for grad school by working at Old Navy, and then the Gap. Some of my closest friends from that stage of my life come from closing Friday night shifts. All three of my former stores are closed. Every time, it was like a bullet through the heart because I was losing family. After the last one, I took a few years…

I give you this.

Because I have a fucking sick sense of humor.

I watch their show when I’m grading. She did an interview at a tech conference, which I promptly looked up online. She’s ... smarter than previous years have portrayed her to be. We still have wildly different priorities in life, but I’m developing a grudging admiration.

Good doggy.

So what you’re saying is ... I’m not a cynical asshole for reacting poorly to her before or for being reluctant to let go of it. She’s got better people.

Needs more pink on the left side.

So wait ... am I handing him a pee soaked stick whether or not I’m pregnant, or am I missing a step?

Did she get a new PR rep? I used to hate her irrationally and lately, she’s growing on me. Accrediting it to personal growth (hers or mine) is too big of a stretch for my hateful, cynical persona.

Good job, Kim’s new PR rep. You get two thumbs up (and possibly an existence)!

Mine has one when I log into the account, but I’ve just used whatever interest calculator Google popped up first, in the past.

Our only celebrities stayed local. One is pretty philanthropic, but I don’t think individuals are usually the recipients.

Wait, what? Fines? I need more information.