I am miserably far away from being able to shop there, but the photos look promising. Will keep in mind if ever I return to civilization.

... where did you find these jeans? I'm asking for ... a friend.

I don't mind having huge, muscular thighs. Right now, it's just that awkward mix of muscular and fat, both in the same place.

When they are twice the size of my waist but you can clearly see the definition of a quadricep, I will gladly squeeze them into skinny jeans that still look horrible, if only to show off the…

I have enormous thighs and, lately, a slightly smushy stomach.

I'm with you. Cute clothes are for people who can regulate their body temperature. For me? Fleece-lined everything and super frumpy sweaters with wool socks. And I'm still a popsicle at my extremities.

A+ would endorse

And then you go to a seminar helpfully titled, "Self Defense for Women" and the martial arts pro who is running it helpfully refuses to teach any combat moves or self-defense moves, arguing that if you want to be able to defend yourself, you'll need to spend 20+ hours a month practicing. "You will break bones. It is…

With this much, I can definitely make it the five days.

I lost count at four creams. So many creams! I only use one cream, and I don't use it consistently. That's probably why this is my face:

I mean, skinny jeans are everywhere, and that doesn't mean they're right for me. A little discernment goes a long way.

Meet you in the breakroom on your 15 for Twizzlers and Tears?

There is a ridiculous PR paragraph about how they're a sexy, fun, feminine spin on boyfriend jeans which I know because my life is sad.

Tl;dr GIVE ME BACK THE LONG AND LEAN.

I have to sit down and watch this show. I love that.

CRIME: MISANDRY
SENTENCE: MAKE ME A SANDWICH!

On the flip side, after I reported my rapist to the authorities and my doctor and I was somehow blamed for the experience, I was beyond pissed.

It's not warped. They are John Wayne, and this is the part of the movie before the hot blonde realized his gruff exterior hides a real gentleman.

If she tries it now, someone will post the meltdown picture and be like, "Really? Loved?"

Ursula has attitude for days. I'm going to go out on a limb and say the artist likes his ladies chunky and quiet.

She's not my best friend, nor does she have a man voice.

Geez.